1 00:00:04,711 --> 00:00:09,711 [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING] 2 00:00:33,281 --> 00:00:38,281 3 00:00:49,214 --> 00:00:53,500 4 00:00:53,501 --> 00:00:58,255 5 00:00:58,256 --> 00:01:02,200 6 00:01:02,201 --> 00:01:07,055 7 00:01:07,056 --> 00:01:10,901 8 00:01:10,902 --> 00:01:15,947 that we were working on 9 00:01:15,948 --> 00:01:20,077 10 00:01:20,078 --> 00:01:24,790 11 00:01:24,791 --> 00:01:29,791 12 00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:33,632 13 00:01:33,633 --> 00:01:38,633 14 00:01:42,049 --> 00:01:46,244 15 00:01:46,245 --> 00:01:50,849 16 00:01:50,850 --> 00:01:55,545 17 00:01:55,546 --> 00:02:00,446 18 00:02:08,851 --> 00:02:13,463 BRIAN: Saturday, March 24, 1984. 19 00:02:13,464 --> 00:02:18,464 Shermer High School, Shermer, Illinois, 60062. 20 00:02:23,850 --> 00:02:26,268 Dear Mr. Vernon. 21 00:02:26,269 --> 00:02:29,554 We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention 22 00:02:29,555 --> 00:02:32,357 for whatever it was we did wrong. 23 00:02:32,358 --> 00:02:35,193 What we did was wrong 24 00:02:35,194 --> 00:02:40,407 but we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. 25 00:02:40,408 --> 00:02:43,076 What do you care? 26 00:02:43,507 --> 00:02:45,871 You see us as you want to see us, 27 00:02:45,872 --> 00:02:50,208 in the simplest terms, with the most convenient definitions. 28 00:02:50,209 --> 00:02:52,711 You see us as a brain, 29 00:02:52,712 --> 00:02:57,424 an athlete, a basket case, 30 00:02:57,425 --> 00:02:59,885 a princess, 31 00:02:59,886 --> 00:03:02,888 and a criminal. 32 00:03:02,889 --> 00:03:05,501 Correct? 33 00:03:08,202 --> 00:03:11,529 That's the way we saw each other at 7:00 this morning. 34 00:03:11,530 --> 00:03:14,330 We were brainwashed. 35 00:03:23,008 --> 00:03:26,187 I can't believe you can't get me out of this. 36 00:03:27,388 --> 00:03:32,088 It's so absurd I have to be here on a Saturday. 37 00:03:32,089 --> 00:03:36,921 - It's not like I'm a defective or anything. - I'll make it up to you. 38 00:03:36,922 --> 00:03:40,458 Honey, ditching class to go shopping doesn't make you a defective. 39 00:03:40,459 --> 00:03:42,359 Have a good day. 40 00:03:47,425 --> 00:03:51,761 - Is this the first time or last time we do this? - Last. 41 00:03:51,762 --> 00:03:54,881 Well, get in there and use the time to your advantage. 42 00:03:54,882 --> 00:03:57,642 Mom, we're not supposed to study. We have to sit there and do nothing. 43 00:03:57,643 --> 00:04:02,243 - Well, mister, you figure out a way to study. - Yeah. 44 00:04:02,982 --> 00:04:05,582 Well, go. 45 00:04:10,790 --> 00:04:13,033 Hey, I screwed around. 46 00:04:13,034 --> 00:04:15,794 Guys screw around. There's nothing wrong with that, 47 00:04:15,795 --> 00:04:20,662 - except you got caught, sport. - Yeah, Mom already reamed me, all right? 48 00:04:20,663 --> 00:04:25,078 You want to miss a match? You want to blow your ride? 49 00:04:25,079 --> 00:04:29,479 Now, no school is gonna give a scholarship to a discipline case. 50 00:04:39,235 --> 00:04:44,235 [SCREECHING] 51 00:05:45,051 --> 00:05:48,551 [LAUGHS] 52 00:05:56,454 --> 00:06:00,899 Well, well. Here we are. 53 00:06:00,900 --> 00:06:03,902 I wanna congratulate you for being on time. 54 00:06:03,903 --> 00:06:07,272 Excuse me, sir? I think there's been a mistake. 55 00:06:07,273 --> 00:06:12,573 I know it's detention, but uhm... I don't think I belong in here. 56 00:06:14,280 --> 00:06:17,991 It is now 7:06. 57 00:06:17,992 --> 00:06:23,488 You have exactly eight hours and 54 minutes to think about why you're here. 58 00:06:23,489 --> 00:06:26,591 - Ponder the error of your ways. - [SPITS] 59 00:06:26,592 --> 00:06:27,759 [GASPS] 60 00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:31,280 You may not talk. 61 00:06:31,881 --> 00:06:36,081 You will not move from these seats. 62 00:06:37,678 --> 00:06:41,978 And you... will not sleep. 63 00:06:46,187 --> 00:06:49,814 All right, people, we're going to try something a little different today. 64 00:06:49,815 --> 00:06:56,988 We are going to write an essay of no less than 1000 words 65 00:06:56,989 --> 00:07:00,450 - describing to me who you think you are. - Is this a test? 66 00:07:00,451 --> 00:07:05,451 And when I say essay, I mean essay. 67 00:07:05,998 --> 00:07:11,503 I do not mean a single word repeated a thousand times. 68 00:07:11,504 --> 00:07:14,881 - Is that clear, Mr. Bender? - Crystal. 69 00:07:14,882 --> 00:07:19,052 Good. Maybe you'll learn something about yourself. 70 00:07:19,053 --> 00:07:23,803 Maybe you'll even decide whether or not you care to return. 71 00:07:24,350 --> 00:07:28,019 Yeah, you know, I can answer that right now, sir. That'd be "no", no for me, 'cause... 72 00:07:28,020 --> 00:07:32,090 - Sit down, Johnson. - Thank you, sir. 73 00:07:32,691 --> 00:07:38,127 My office is right across that hall. Any monkey business is ill-advised. 74 00:07:38,128 --> 00:07:40,391 Any questions? 75 00:07:41,492 --> 00:07:44,494 JOHN: Yeah. I got a question. 76 00:07:44,495 --> 00:07:47,497 Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe? 77 00:07:47,498 --> 00:07:52,610 I'll give you the answer to that question, Mr. Bender, next Saturday. 78 00:07:52,611 --> 00:07:57,311 Don't mess with the bull, young man, you'll get the horns. 79 00:07:58,509 --> 00:08:02,709 That man is a brownie hound. 80 00:08:11,730 --> 00:08:16,730 [ALLISON BITING NAILS] 81 00:08:33,752 --> 00:08:37,255 You keep eating your hand, you're not going to be hungry for lunch. 82 00:08:37,256 --> 00:08:38,815 [SPITS] 83 00:08:38,816 --> 00:08:42,716 I've seen you before, you know. 84 00:08:51,478 --> 00:08:53,555 Who I think I am. 85 00:08:54,056 --> 00:08:58,536 Who are you? Who are you? 86 00:09:00,237 --> 00:09:03,137 I am a walrus. 87 00:09:34,647 --> 00:09:37,147 It's the shits, huh? 88 00:09:39,818 --> 00:09:41,194 [BRIAN CLEARS THROAT] 89 00:09:41,195 --> 00:09:46,195 [PAPER RUSTLING] 90 00:09:57,127 --> 00:10:02,127 [JOHN HUMMING] 91 00:10:07,513 --> 00:10:12,392 - I can't believe this is really happening to me. - Oh, shit! 92 00:10:12,393 --> 00:10:15,102 What are we supposed to do if we have to take a piss? 93 00:10:15,103 --> 00:10:17,722 - Please. - If you got to go, you got to go. 94 00:10:17,723 --> 00:10:19,440 00:10:21,234 Oh, my God. 96 00:10:21,235 --> 00:10:22,652 ANDREW: You're not urinating in here, man. 97 00:10:22,653 --> 00:10:24,696 Don't talk. Don't talk. It makes it crawl back up. 98 00:10:24,697 --> 00:10:29,450 You whip it out, you're dead before the first drop hits the floor. 99 00:10:29,451 --> 00:10:31,452 You're pretty sexy when you get angry. 100 00:10:31,453 --> 00:10:35,081 [JOHN GROWLS] 101 00:10:35,082 --> 00:10:38,334 Hey, homeboy, why don't you go close that door? 102 00:10:38,335 --> 00:10:41,587 We'll get the prom queen impregnated. 103 00:10:41,588 --> 00:10:45,341 - Hey. Hey! - What? 104 00:10:45,342 --> 00:10:47,969 If I lose my temper, you're totaled, man. 105 00:10:47,970 --> 00:10:51,681 - Totally? - Totally. 106 00:10:51,682 --> 00:10:55,977 Why don't you shut up? Nobody here's interested. 107 00:10:55,978 --> 00:10:59,397 Really. Buttface. 108 00:10:59,398 --> 00:11:04,118 Hey, sporto, what'd you do to get in here? Forget to wash your jock? 109 00:11:04,119 --> 00:11:06,112 Oh, excuse me, fellows, I think we should just write our papers. 110 00:11:06,113 --> 00:11:10,557 Just because you live in here doesn't give you the right to be a pain in the ass, so knock it off! 111 00:11:12,158 --> 00:11:13,653 It's a free country. 112 00:11:13,654 --> 00:11:18,166 He's just doing it to get a rise out of you. Just ignore him. 113 00:11:18,167 --> 00:11:20,485 Sweets. 114 00:11:21,086 --> 00:11:24,486 You couldn't ignore me if you tried. 115 00:11:26,467 --> 00:11:29,052 JOHN: So... 116 00:11:29,553 --> 00:11:32,096 So, 117 00:11:32,097 --> 00:11:36,267 are you guys like boyfriend-girlfriend? 118 00:11:36,268 --> 00:11:39,729 Steady dates? 119 00:11:39,730 --> 00:11:42,357 Lovers? 120 00:11:42,358 --> 00:11:45,443 Come on, sporto. Level with me. 121 00:11:45,444 --> 00:11:48,237 Do you slip her the hot-beef injection? 122 00:11:48,238 --> 00:11:49,781 - Go to hell! - Enough! 123 00:11:49,782 --> 00:11:53,382 Hey! What's going on in there? 124 00:11:54,912 --> 00:11:58,312 Spoiled little pricks. 125 00:12:03,212 --> 00:12:05,798 Scumbag. 126 00:12:07,009 --> 00:12:08,800 What do you say we close that door? 127 00:12:08,801 --> 00:12:11,928 We can't have any kind of party with Vernon checking us out every few seconds. 128 00:12:11,929 --> 00:12:13,846 Well, you know the door's supposed to stay open. 129 00:12:13,847 --> 00:12:15,715 - So what? - So why don't you just shut up? 130 00:12:15,716 --> 00:12:17,141 There's four other people in here, you know? 131 00:12:17,142 --> 00:12:20,853 God, you can count. I knew you had to be smart to be a wrestler. 132 00:12:20,854 --> 00:12:22,722 Who the hell are you to judge anybody anyway? 133 00:12:22,723 --> 00:12:23,932 Really. 134 00:12:24,433 --> 00:12:26,275 You know, Bender, you don't even count. 135 00:12:26,276 --> 00:12:29,237 And if you disappear forever, it wouldn't make any difference. 136 00:12:29,238 --> 00:12:32,738 You may as well not even exist at this school. 137 00:12:34,576 --> 00:12:38,537 Well, I'll just run right out and join the wrestling team. 138 00:12:38,538 --> 00:12:39,363 [LAUGHS] 139 00:12:39,364 --> 00:12:42,792 Maybe the prep club, too. Student council. 140 00:12:42,793 --> 00:12:45,545 - No. They wouldn't take you. - I'm hurt. 141 00:12:45,546 --> 00:12:47,505 You know why guys like you knock everything? 142 00:12:47,506 --> 00:12:50,216 - JOHN: This should be stunning. - Because you're afraid. 143 00:12:50,217 --> 00:12:54,429 Oh, God. You richies are so smart. That's exactly why I'm not heavy in activities. 144 00:12:54,430 --> 00:12:57,390 - You're a big coward. - I'm in a Math Club. 145 00:12:57,391 --> 00:13:02,370 You're afraid that they won't take you, you don't belong, so you dump all over it. 146 00:13:02,371 --> 00:13:07,650 Well, it wouldn't have anything to do with you activities people being assholes, now would it? 147 00:13:07,651 --> 00:13:10,361 Well, you wouldn't know. You don't even know any of us. 148 00:13:10,362 --> 00:13:12,355 Well, I don't know any lepers either, 149 00:13:12,356 --> 00:13:14,532 but I'm not going to run and join one of their fucking clubs. 150 00:13:14,533 --> 00:13:18,035 - Hey, let's watch the mouth, huh? - I'm in Physics Club, too. 151 00:13:18,036 --> 00:13:21,122 Excuse me a sec. What are you babbling about? 152 00:13:21,123 --> 00:13:24,409 What I said was that I'm in the Math Club, 153 00:13:24,410 --> 00:13:29,110 uh... the Latin Club and the Physics Club. Physics Club. 154 00:13:29,756 --> 00:13:33,952 Hey. Cherry. 155 00:13:34,503 --> 00:13:39,015 - Do you belong to the Physics Club? - That's an academic club. 156 00:13:39,016 --> 00:13:41,093 JOHN: So? 157 00:13:41,894 --> 00:13:45,855 So, academic clubs aren't the same as other kinds of clubs. 158 00:13:45,856 --> 00:13:49,984 But to dorks like him, they are. 159 00:13:49,985 --> 00:13:51,903 What do you guys do in your club? 160 00:13:51,904 --> 00:13:56,904 In physics, well, we uh... we talk about physics, uh... properties of physics. 161 00:13:56,909 --> 00:14:02,607 So it's sort of social. Demented and sad, but social, right? 162 00:14:02,608 --> 00:14:05,408 BRIAN: You might I guess you could consider it a social situation. 163 00:14:05,409 --> 00:14:08,629 Um... I mean, there are other children in my club. 164 00:14:08,630 --> 00:14:14,592 And uh... at the end of the year, we have, um... we have... you know a big banquet at the Hilton. 165 00:14:14,593 --> 00:14:17,553 You load up. You party. 166 00:14:17,554 --> 00:14:21,599 No. We get dressed up, I mean, uh... but we don't... we don't get high. 167 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:23,184 Only burners like you get high. 168 00:14:23,185 --> 00:14:25,478 BRIAN: And I didn't have any shoes, so I had to borrow my dad's. 169 00:14:25,479 --> 00:14:28,681 It's a kind of weird 'cause my mom doesn't like me to wear other people's shoes then uh... 170 00:14:28,682 --> 00:14:32,276 My cousin Kent... um... my cousin Kendall from Indiana, he got high once. 171 00:14:32,277 --> 00:14:34,946 And, you know, he started eating, like, really weird foods, and uh... 172 00:14:34,947 --> 00:14:36,983 and then he just felt like he didn't belong anywhere, you know... 173 00:14:36,984 --> 00:14:39,492 kind of, you know, like Twilight Zone, kind of. 174 00:14:39,493 --> 00:14:40,701 Sounds like you. 175 00:14:40,702 --> 00:14:43,554 Look, you guys keep up your talking and Vernon's gonna come rights in here. 176 00:14:43,555 --> 00:14:44,739 I got a meet this Saturday, 177 00:14:44,740 --> 00:14:46,624 and I'm not gonna miss it on account of you boneheads. 178 00:14:46,625 --> 00:14:51,420 Oh, and wouldn't that be a bite, huh? Wow, missing a whole wrestling meet? 179 00:14:51,421 --> 00:14:53,631 You wouldn't know anything about it, faggot. 180 00:14:53,632 --> 00:14:56,532 - You never competed in your whole life. - Oh, I know. 181 00:14:56,533 --> 00:14:57,969 I feel all empty inside because of it. 182 00:14:57,970 --> 00:15:02,848 I have such a deep admiration for guys who roll around on the floor with other guys. 183 00:15:02,849 --> 00:15:05,726 Ah, you'd never miss it. You don't have any goals. 184 00:15:05,727 --> 00:15:07,344 - Oh, but I do. - Yeah? 185 00:15:07,345 --> 00:15:09,730 I want to be just like you. 186 00:15:09,731 --> 00:15:14,331 I figure all I need's a lobotomy and some tights. 187 00:15:16,113 --> 00:15:18,322 You wear tights? 188 00:15:18,323 --> 00:15:22,535 No, I don't wear tights. I wear the required uniform. 189 00:15:22,536 --> 00:15:25,936 - Tights. - Shut up. 190 00:15:38,802 --> 00:15:40,761 [SNORTS] 191 00:15:40,762 --> 00:15:43,015 [WHOOPING] 192 00:15:44,516 --> 00:15:47,184 BRIAN: There's not supposed to be any monkey business. 193 00:15:47,185 --> 00:15:51,085 Young man, have you finished your paper? 194 00:15:54,526 --> 00:15:56,485 ANDREW: Come on, Bender. Don't screw around. 195 00:15:56,486 --> 00:15:59,986 - What are you going to do? - Drop dead, I hope. 196 00:16:02,868 --> 00:16:07,830 [EXHALES] 197 00:16:08,331 --> 00:16:09,373 [EXCLAIMS] 198 00:16:09,374 --> 00:16:10,583 All right! 199 00:16:10,584 --> 00:16:14,495 Bender, that's... that's school property there, and it does... it doesn't belong to us. 200 00:16:14,496 --> 00:16:16,889 It's something not to be toyed with. 201 00:16:16,890 --> 00:16:18,615 That's very funny. Come on. Fix it. 202 00:16:18,616 --> 00:16:20,276 - You should really fix that. - Am I a genius? 203 00:16:20,277 --> 00:16:22,002 00:16:24,180 - Fix the door, Bender. - Everyone, just... 205 00:16:24,181 --> 00:16:25,706 JOHN: I've been here before. I know what I'm doing. 206 00:16:25,707 --> 00:16:28,684 - ANDREW: No. Fix the door! - JOHN: Shut up! Shut up! 207 00:16:28,685 --> 00:16:31,585 VERNON: God damn it! 208 00:16:34,191 --> 00:16:37,091 Why is that door closed? 209 00:16:40,272 --> 00:16:41,814 Why is that door closed? 210 00:16:41,815 --> 00:16:44,868 How are we supposed to know? We're not supposed to move, right? 211 00:16:45,869 --> 00:16:47,745 Why? 212 00:16:48,246 --> 00:16:53,246 We're just sitting here like we're supposed to. 213 00:16:55,962 --> 00:16:58,881 Who closed that door? 214 00:16:58,882 --> 00:17:03,135 - I think a screw fell out of it. - It just closed, sir. 215 00:17:03,136 --> 00:17:05,096 VERNON: Who? 216 00:17:05,097 --> 00:17:06,597 [SQUEAKS] 217 00:17:06,598 --> 00:17:09,401 She doesn't talk, sir. 218 00:17:10,602 --> 00:17:12,728 - VERNON: Give me that screw. - I don't have it. 219 00:17:12,729 --> 00:17:15,231 You want me to yank you out of that seat and shake it out of you? 220 00:17:15,232 --> 00:17:17,466 I don't have it. Screws fall out all the time. 221 00:17:17,467 --> 00:17:19,193 The world's an imperfect place. 222 00:17:19,194 --> 00:17:20,778 Give it to me, Bender. 223 00:17:20,779 --> 00:17:23,989 Excuse me, sir. Why would anybody want to steal a screw? 224 00:17:23,990 --> 00:17:26,485 Watch it, young lady. 225 00:17:28,286 --> 00:17:30,586 [DOOR OPENING] 226 00:17:36,044 --> 00:17:40,644 The door's way too heavy, sir. 227 00:17:44,886 --> 00:17:47,386 VERNON: Damn it! 228 00:17:52,769 --> 00:17:58,169 Andrew Clark, get up here. Come on. Front and center. Let's go. 229 00:17:59,651 --> 00:18:01,953 Hey, how come Andrew gets to get up? 230 00:18:01,954 --> 00:18:06,515 - That's right. - If he gets up, we'll all get up. It'll be anarchy! 231 00:18:06,516 --> 00:18:07,366 [CLATTERING] 232 00:18:07,367 --> 00:18:09,076 Ok, watch... watch the magazines. 233 00:18:09,077 --> 00:18:11,777 00:18:19,837 That's very clever, sir, but what if there's a fire? 235 00:18:19,838 --> 00:18:23,841 I think violating fire codes and endangering the lives of children 236 00:18:23,842 --> 00:18:26,794 would be unwise at this juncture in your career, sir. 237 00:18:26,795 --> 00:18:28,687 All right. What are you doing with this? What are you doing with this? 238 00:18:28,688 --> 00:18:30,848 Get this out of here, for God's sake. 239 00:18:30,849 --> 00:18:32,183 What's the matter with you? Come on! 240 00:18:32,184 --> 00:18:35,995 You know, the school comes equipped with fire exits at either end of the library. 241 00:18:35,996 --> 00:18:39,073 - Show Dick some respect. - Let's go. 242 00:18:39,574 --> 00:18:42,124 Go. Get back in your seat. 243 00:18:44,362 --> 00:18:49,162 I expected a little more from a varsity letterman. 244 00:18:49,951 --> 00:18:52,703 You're not fooling anybody, Bender. 245 00:18:52,704 --> 00:18:56,624 The next screw that falls out is gonna be you. 246 00:18:56,625 --> 00:19:00,245 - Eat my shorts. - What was that? 247 00:19:01,746 --> 00:19:05,608 Eat my shorts. 248 00:19:05,609 --> 00:19:07,593 You just bought yourself another Saturday, mister. 249 00:19:07,594 --> 00:19:10,462 - Oh, I'm crushed. - You just bought one more right there. 250 00:19:10,463 --> 00:19:14,011 Well, I'm free the Saturday after that. Beyond that, I'll have to check my calendar. 251 00:19:14,012 --> 00:19:17,978 Good! Because it's gonna be filled. We'll keep going. 252 00:19:17,979 --> 00:19:21,265 You want another one? Say the word. Just say the word. 253 00:19:21,266 --> 00:19:24,044 Instead of going to prison, you'll come here. 254 00:19:24,945 --> 00:19:27,271 - Are you through? - No. 255 00:19:27,272 --> 00:19:29,031 - I'm doing society a favor. - So? 256 00:19:29,032 --> 00:19:30,449 That's another right now. 257 00:19:30,450 --> 00:19:33,886 I've got you for the rest of your natural born life if you don't watch your step. 258 00:19:33,887 --> 00:19:36,138 - You want another one? - Yes. 259 00:19:36,139 --> 00:19:39,375 You got it! You got another one right there. That's another one, pal. 260 00:19:39,376 --> 00:19:42,586 Cut it out! Stop. 261 00:19:42,587 --> 00:19:46,457 - You through? - Not even close, bud. 262 00:19:46,458 --> 00:19:50,152 - Good, you got one more right there. - You really think I give a shit? 263 00:19:50,153 --> 00:19:51,914 Another. 264 00:19:53,515 --> 00:19:56,300 - You through? - How many is that? 265 00:19:56,301 --> 00:19:59,103 That's seven, including the one when you asked Mr. Vernon here 266 00:19:59,104 --> 00:20:01,263 whether Barry Manilow knew he raided his closet. 267 00:20:01,264 --> 00:20:04,024 - Now it's eight. You, stay out of it. - Excuse me, sir. It's seven. 268 00:20:04,025 --> 00:20:06,925 Shut up, peewee. 269 00:20:09,865 --> 00:20:14,451 You're mine, Bender. For two months, I got you. 270 00:20:14,452 --> 00:20:16,787 I got you. 271 00:20:16,788 --> 00:20:19,331 What can I say? I'm thrilled. 272 00:20:19,332 --> 00:20:22,001 Oh, I'm sure that's exactly what you want these people to believe. 273 00:20:22,002 --> 00:20:23,752 You know something, Bender? 274 00:20:23,753 --> 00:20:26,739 You ought to spend a little more time trying to do something with yourself 275 00:20:26,740 --> 00:20:29,967 and a little less time trying to impress people. 276 00:20:29,968 --> 00:20:33,962 You might be better off. All right. That's it! 277 00:20:33,963 --> 00:20:36,682 I'm gonna be right outside those doors. 278 00:20:36,683 --> 00:20:41,683 The next time I have to come in here, I'm cracking skulls. 279 00:20:52,741 --> 00:20:56,341 FUCK you! 280 00:20:59,372 --> 00:21:04,372 [SIGHS] 281 00:21:04,402 --> 00:21:06,702 Fuck. 282 00:22:48,314 --> 00:22:50,352 Wake up! 283 00:22:53,153 --> 00:22:56,753 Who has to go to the lavatory? 284 00:23:13,757 --> 00:23:17,384 - That's real intelligent. - You're right. 285 00:23:17,385 --> 00:23:20,712 It's wrong to destroy literature. 286 00:23:20,713 --> 00:23:24,007 It's such fun to read. 287 00:23:24,008 --> 00:23:26,286 And, 288 00:23:27,287 --> 00:23:33,151 - Molay really pumps my nads. - Moliére. 289 00:23:34,752 --> 00:23:37,252 I love his work. 290 00:23:45,738 --> 00:23:50,259 Big deal. Nothing to do when you're locked in a vacancy. 291 00:23:50,260 --> 00:23:51,710 Ah, speak for yourself. 292 00:23:51,711 --> 00:23:56,711 Do you think I'd speak for you? I don't even know your language. 293 00:23:58,626 --> 00:24:02,362 Hey, you grounded tonight? 294 00:24:02,363 --> 00:24:07,263 I don't know. My mom said I was. My dad told me just to blow her off. 295 00:24:10,888 --> 00:24:13,865 Big party at Stubby's. His parents are in Europe. 296 00:24:13,866 --> 00:24:16,059 - It should be pretty wild. - CLAIRE: Yeah? 297 00:24:16,060 --> 00:24:18,354 00:24:21,532 - I doubt it. - How come? 299 00:24:21,533 --> 00:24:25,235 'Cause if I do what my mother tells me not to do, it's because my father says it's okay. 300 00:24:25,236 --> 00:24:28,972 It's like this whole, big monster deal. It's endless. It's a total drag. 301 00:24:28,973 --> 00:24:31,333 It's like, any minute, divorce. 302 00:24:31,334 --> 00:24:34,461 - Who do you like better? - What? 303 00:24:34,462 --> 00:24:36,547 You like your old man better than your mom? 304 00:24:36,548 --> 00:24:37,673 They're both screwed. 305 00:24:37,674 --> 00:24:42,177 No, I mean, if you had to choose between them. 306 00:24:42,178 --> 00:24:46,878 I don't know. Probably go live with my brother. 307 00:24:48,734 --> 00:24:51,094 I mean, I don't think either one of them gives a shit about me. 308 00:24:51,095 --> 00:24:53,230 It's like they use me to get back at each other. 309 00:24:53,231 --> 00:24:55,731 Ha! 310 00:25:03,533 --> 00:25:07,611 - Shut up! - You're just feeling sorry for yourself. 311 00:25:07,612 --> 00:25:09,246 Yeah, if I didn't, nobody else would. 312 00:25:09,247 --> 00:25:10,989 Oh, you're breaking my heart. 313 00:25:10,990 --> 00:25:14,319 - Sporto? - What? 314 00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:21,520 - You get along with your parents? - Well, if I say yes, I'm an idiot, right? 315 00:25:22,151 --> 00:25:24,211 You're an idiot anyway. 316 00:25:24,212 --> 00:25:29,412 But if you say you get along with your parents, well, you're a liar, too. 317 00:25:36,649 --> 00:25:40,769 You know something, man? If we weren't in school, I'd waste you. 318 00:25:40,770 --> 00:25:43,438 Can you hear this? 319 00:25:43,439 --> 00:25:47,309 You want me to turn it up? 320 00:25:47,310 --> 00:25:49,620 Hey, fellows, I mean... 321 00:25:49,821 --> 00:25:54,574 [STUTTERING] I... I don't like my parents, either. I mean, I don't, you know... I don't? 322 00:25:54,575 --> 00:25:58,412 I don't get along with them. Their idea of, you know, parental compassion 323 00:25:58,413 --> 00:26:02,457 is just, you know... wacko... you know. 324 00:26:02,458 --> 00:26:04,568 - Dork. - Yeah? 325 00:26:04,569 --> 00:26:09,469 You are a parent's wet dream, okay? 326 00:26:10,174 --> 00:26:11,925 Well, that's the problem. 327 00:26:11,926 --> 00:26:14,519 Look, I can see you getting all bunged up for them making you 328 00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:20,233 wear these kind of clothes, but, face it, you're a neo-maxi-zoon-dweebie. 329 00:26:20,234 --> 00:26:23,286 What would you be doing if you weren't out making yourself a better citizen? 330 00:26:23,287 --> 00:26:26,356 Why do you have to insult everybody? 331 00:26:26,357 --> 00:26:29,084 I'm being honest, asshole. 332 00:26:29,085 --> 00:26:33,547 - I would expect you to know the difference. - Yeah, well, he's got a name. 333 00:26:33,548 --> 00:26:35,273 - Yeah. - Yeah? 334 00:26:35,274 --> 00:26:37,759 - What's your name? - Brian. 335 00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:42,060 - See? - My condolences. 336 00:26:43,674 --> 00:26:46,111 CLAIRE: What's your name? 337 00:26:48,212 --> 00:26:50,264 What's yours? 338 00:26:50,965 --> 00:26:52,208 Claire. 339 00:26:52,209 --> 00:26:55,702 - Claire? - Claire. It's a family name. 340 00:26:55,703 --> 00:26:57,988 - Oh. It's a fat girl's name. - Oh, thank you. 341 00:26:57,989 --> 00:26:59,556 - You're welcome. - I'm not fat. 342 00:26:59,557 --> 00:27:03,243 Not at present, but I can see you really pushing maximum density. 343 00:27:03,244 --> 00:27:07,864 You see, I'm not sure if you know this, but there are two kinds of fat people. 344 00:27:07,865 --> 00:27:10,458 There's fat people that were born to be fat 345 00:27:10,459 --> 00:27:14,154 and there's fat people that were once thin, but they became fat. 346 00:27:14,155 --> 00:27:18,425 So when you look at them, you can sort of see that thin person inside. 347 00:27:18,426 --> 00:27:20,093 You see, you're gonna get married. 348 00:27:20,094 --> 00:27:23,513 You're gonna squeeze out a few puppies, and then... 349 00:27:23,514 --> 00:27:27,183 00:27:32,184 Oh. Obscene finger gestures from such a pristine girl. 351 00:27:32,185 --> 00:27:35,015 I'm not that pristine. 352 00:27:38,479 --> 00:27:41,707 Are you a virgin? 353 00:27:42,308 --> 00:27:47,408 I'll bet you a million dollars that you are. 354 00:27:48,481 --> 00:27:50,460 Let's end the suspense. 355 00:27:51,467 --> 00:27:56,112 - Is it going to be a white wedding? - Why don't you just shut up? 356 00:27:56,113 --> 00:27:59,713 Have you ever kissed a boy on the mouth? 357 00:28:01,336 --> 00:28:04,304 Have you ever been felt up 358 00:28:04,305 --> 00:28:10,152 over the bra, under the blouse, shoes off, 359 00:28:10,153 --> 00:28:14,253 hoping to God your parents don't walk in? 360 00:28:15,399 --> 00:28:18,144 Do you want me to puke? 361 00:28:19,345 --> 00:28:22,306 Over the panties, 362 00:28:23,407 --> 00:28:26,409 no bra, 363 00:28:26,410 --> 00:28:29,104 blouse unbuttoned, 364 00:28:29,105 --> 00:28:34,205 Calvins in a ball on the front seat past 11:00 on a school night? 365 00:28:35,086 --> 00:28:37,986 ANDREW: Leave her alone. 366 00:28:46,814 --> 00:28:49,735 I said leave her alone. 367 00:28:51,936 --> 00:28:56,936 - You gonna make me? - Yeah. 368 00:29:03,097 --> 00:29:06,266 You and how many of your friends? 369 00:29:06,267 --> 00:29:11,546 Just me. Just you and me. Two hits. 370 00:29:11,547 --> 00:29:16,547 Me hitting you. You hitting the floor. Anytime you're ready, pal. 371 00:29:23,509 --> 00:29:27,929 JOHN: I don't want to get into this, man. 372 00:29:27,930 --> 00:29:32,930 - Why not? - Because I'd kill you. 373 00:29:35,396 --> 00:29:37,814 It's real simple. 374 00:29:37,815 --> 00:29:41,952 I'd kill you and your fucking parents would sue me, and it'd be a big mess. 375 00:29:41,953 --> 00:29:45,748 and I don't care enough about you to bother. 376 00:29:46,449 --> 00:29:49,749 Chickenshit. 377 00:29:57,334 --> 00:29:59,711 [GRUNTING] 378 00:29:59,712 --> 00:30:02,013 Let's end this right now. 379 00:30:02,014 --> 00:30:06,009 You don't talk to her. You don't look at her. 380 00:30:06,010 --> 00:30:09,897 And you don't even think about her! You understand me? 381 00:30:10,598 --> 00:30:13,598 I'm trying to help her. 382 00:30:22,393 --> 00:30:27,393 [POP MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO] 383 00:30:34,989 --> 00:30:37,750 Brian, how you doing? 384 00:30:38,451 --> 00:30:41,351 Your dad work here? 385 00:30:45,750 --> 00:30:47,542 - JOHN: Uh, Carl? - What? 386 00:30:47,543 --> 00:30:50,670 - Can I ask you a question? - Sure. 387 00:30:50,671 --> 00:30:54,257 - How does one become a janitor? - You want to be a janitor? 388 00:30:54,258 --> 00:30:56,760 No. I just want to know how one becomes a janitor, 389 00:30:56,761 --> 00:30:58,595 because Andrew here 390 00:30:58,596 --> 00:31:02,390 is very interested in pursuing a career in the custodial arts. 391 00:31:02,391 --> 00:31:05,119 Oh, really? 392 00:31:06,220 --> 00:31:10,649 You guys think I'm some untouchable peasant, serf, peon, you know? 393 00:31:10,650 --> 00:31:14,778 Maybe so. But following a broom around after shitheads like you 394 00:31:14,779 --> 00:31:17,364 for the last eight years, I've learned a couple of things. 395 00:31:17,365 --> 00:31:22,035 I look through your letters. I look through your lockers. 396 00:31:22,036 --> 00:31:25,580 I listen to your conversations. You don't know that, but I do. 397 00:31:25,581 --> 00:31:30,581 I am the eyes and ears of this institution, my friends. 398 00:31:33,089 --> 00:31:37,551 By the way, that clock's 20 minutes fast. 399 00:31:38,452 --> 00:31:40,352 ANDREW: Shit. 400 00:31:45,843 --> 00:31:49,343 [WHISTLING] 401 00:32:01,651 --> 00:32:05,151 [ALL WHISTLING] 402 00:32:12,287 --> 00:32:14,374 [DOOR OPENING] 403 00:32:17,375 --> 00:32:20,875 [WHISTLING] 404 00:32:24,899 --> 00:32:27,726 All right, girls. That's 30 minutes for lunch. 405 00:32:27,727 --> 00:32:29,720 - Here? - Here. 406 00:32:30,121 --> 00:32:33,915 Well, I think the cafeteria would be a more suitable place for us to eat lunch in, sir. 407 00:32:33,916 --> 00:32:36,693 Well, I don't care what you think, Andrew. 408 00:32:36,694 --> 00:32:38,420 JOHN: Uh, Dick? 409 00:32:38,421 --> 00:32:42,365 Excuse me, Rich. Will milk be made available to us? 410 00:32:42,366 --> 00:32:44,200 We're extremely thirsty, sir. 411 00:32:44,201 --> 00:32:46,870 I have a really low tolerance for dehydration. 412 00:32:46,871 --> 00:32:49,998 I've seen her dehydrated, sir. It's pretty gross. 413 00:32:49,999 --> 00:32:51,791 Relax. I'll get it. 414 00:32:51,792 --> 00:32:53,877 [VERNON TUTTING] 415 00:32:53,878 --> 00:32:56,546 Grab some wood there, bub. 416 00:32:56,547 --> 00:32:59,883 What, do you think I was born yesterday? 417 00:32:59,884 --> 00:33:03,729 You think I'm going to have you roaming these halls? 418 00:33:04,430 --> 00:33:06,178 You. 419 00:33:11,479 --> 00:33:15,690 And you. Hey! 420 00:33:15,691 --> 00:33:17,567 What's her name? Wake her, wake her up. 421 00:33:17,568 --> 00:33:22,568 Hey, come on. On your feet, missy. Let's go! This is no rest home. 422 00:33:23,574 --> 00:33:27,574 There's a soft drink machine in the teachers' lounge. Let's go. 423 00:33:32,541 --> 00:33:36,341 So... what's your poison? 424 00:33:38,381 --> 00:33:40,609 What do you drink? 425 00:33:42,510 --> 00:33:46,005 Okay. Forget I asked. 426 00:33:46,806 --> 00:33:49,400 Vodka. 427 00:33:50,101 --> 00:33:53,978 Vodka? When do you drink vodka? 428 00:33:53,979 --> 00:33:56,256 Whenever. 429 00:33:56,857 --> 00:34:00,235 - A lot? - Tons. 430 00:34:00,236 --> 00:34:02,596 Is that why you're here today? 431 00:34:03,197 --> 00:34:06,697 - Why are you here? - Why are you here? 432 00:34:13,290 --> 00:34:17,043 I'm here today because uh... 433 00:34:17,044 --> 00:34:21,798 Because my coach and my father don't want me to blow my ride. 434 00:34:21,799 --> 00:34:25,969 So I get treated differently because uh... coach thinks I'm a winner. 435 00:34:25,970 --> 00:34:28,138 So does my old man. 436 00:34:28,139 --> 00:34:30,557 I'm not a winner because I want to be one. 437 00:34:30,558 --> 00:34:35,058 I'm a winner because I got strength and speed, kind of like a racehorse. 438 00:34:35,980 --> 00:34:38,857 That's about how involved I am in what's happening to me. 439 00:34:38,858 --> 00:34:41,117 Yeah? 440 00:34:41,718 --> 00:34:44,818 That's very interesting. 441 00:34:46,866 --> 00:34:51,119 Now why don't you tell me why you're really in here. 442 00:34:51,120 --> 00:34:53,520 Forget it. 443 00:34:59,086 --> 00:35:03,631 Claire? Want to see a picture of a guy with elephantiasis of the nuts? 444 00:35:03,632 --> 00:35:05,675 - It's pretty tasty. - No, thank you. 445 00:35:05,676 --> 00:35:09,176 How do you think he rides a bike? 446 00:35:11,182 --> 00:35:15,435 Oh, Claire? Would you never consider dating a guy like this? 447 00:35:15,436 --> 00:35:18,438 - Can't you just leave me alone? - I mean, if he had a great personality, 448 00:35:18,439 --> 00:35:21,191 was a good dancer and had a cool car? 449 00:35:21,192 --> 00:35:25,692 Or you'd probably have to ride in the backseat because his nuts would ride shotgun. 450 00:35:27,731 --> 00:35:31,910 - You know what I wish I was doing? - Watch what you say. Brian here is a cherry. 451 00:35:31,911 --> 00:35:36,914 - A cherry? - I wish I was in a plane... to France. 452 00:35:36,915 --> 00:35:37,791 I'm not a cherry. 453 00:35:37,792 --> 00:35:41,711 - When have you ever gotten laid? - I've laid lots of times. 454 00:35:41,712 --> 00:35:45,815 - Name one. - She lives in Canada. 455 00:35:45,816 --> 00:35:49,135 I met her at Niagara Falls. You wouldn't know her. 456 00:35:49,136 --> 00:35:52,406 Ever laid anyone around here? 457 00:35:52,807 --> 00:35:56,976 Oh. You and Claire did it? 458 00:35:56,977 --> 00:35:59,721 - What are you talking about? - Nothing. Nothing. 459 00:35:59,722 --> 00:36:01,723 Let's just drop it, okay? We'll talk about it later. 460 00:36:01,724 --> 00:36:04,050 - What are you talking about? - Well, Brian's trying to tell me 461 00:36:04,051 --> 00:36:07,612 that in addition to the number of girls in the Niagara Falls area, 462 00:36:07,613 --> 00:36:11,366 that presently you and he are riding the hobby horse. 463 00:36:11,367 --> 00:36:14,277 - Little pig. - No, I'm not. I'm... 464 00:36:14,278 --> 00:36:17,622 John said I was a cherry, and I said I wasn't. That's it, that's all... that's all that I was said. 465 00:36:17,623 --> 00:36:20,166 Well, then what were you motioning to Claire for? 466 00:36:20,167 --> 00:36:23,419 - I don't appreciate this very much, Brian. - He is lying. 467 00:36:23,420 --> 00:36:26,981 Oh, you weren't motioning to Claire? 468 00:36:26,982 --> 00:36:28,091 You know he's lying, right? 469 00:36:28,092 --> 00:36:31,803 JOHN: Were you or were you not motioning to Claire? 470 00:36:31,804 --> 00:36:34,373 Yeah, but it was only... 471 00:36:34,974 --> 00:36:39,227 it was only because I didn't want her to know I was a virgin, ok? 472 00:36:39,228 --> 00:36:42,188 Excuse me for being a virgin. I'm sorry. 473 00:36:42,189 --> 00:36:44,440 Why didn't you want me to know you were a virgin? 474 00:36:44,441 --> 00:36:47,694 Because it's personal business. It's my personal, private business. 475 00:36:47,695 --> 00:36:50,864 Well, Brian, it doesn't sound like you're doing any business. 476 00:36:50,865 --> 00:36:54,450 I think it's okay for a guy to be a virgin. 477 00:36:54,451 --> 00:36:56,451 You do? 478 00:37:07,089 --> 00:37:12,385 - What's in there? - Guess. Where's your lunch? 479 00:37:12,386 --> 00:37:16,886 - You're wearing it. - You're nauseating. 480 00:37:30,988 --> 00:37:35,450 - What's that? - Sushi. 481 00:37:35,451 --> 00:37:41,951 - Sushi? - Rice, raw fish and seaweed. 482 00:37:44,001 --> 00:37:47,503 You won't accept a guy's tongue in your mouth, and you're gonna eat that? 483 00:37:47,504 --> 00:37:49,923 Can I eat? 484 00:37:49,924 --> 00:37:53,424 I don't know. Give it a try. 485 00:38:13,489 --> 00:38:18,076 [CLEARS THROAT] 486 00:38:18,077 --> 00:38:21,577 [SLURPING] 487 00:38:28,462 --> 00:38:31,162 ANDREW: What's your problem? 488 00:39:20,180 --> 00:39:23,680 [ALLISON MUNCHING] 489 00:39:30,024 --> 00:39:32,650 What are we having? 490 00:39:32,651 --> 00:39:36,151 It's your standard, regular lunch, I guess. 491 00:39:37,781 --> 00:39:41,281 - Milk? - Soup. 492 00:39:45,039 --> 00:39:48,157 - That's apple juice. - I can read. 493 00:39:48,158 --> 00:39:52,003 JOHN: PB and J with the crusts cut off. 494 00:39:52,004 --> 00:39:55,131 Well, Brian, this is a very nutritious lunch. 495 00:39:55,132 --> 00:39:58,551 All the food groups are represented. 496 00:39:58,552 --> 00:40:01,596 Did your mom marry Mr. Rogers? 497 00:40:01,597 --> 00:40:05,250 Uh, no, Mr. Johnson. 498 00:40:05,851 --> 00:40:11,151 Here's my impression of life at big Bri's house. 499 00:40:15,652 --> 00:40:17,320 [IN DEEP VOICE] "Son?" 500 00:40:17,321 --> 00:40:19,030 [IN NORMAL VOICE] "Yeah, Dad?" 501 00:40:19,031 --> 00:40:22,642 "How's your day, pal?" "Great, Dad." 502 00:40:22,643 --> 00:40:26,370 "How's yours?" "Super." 503 00:40:26,371 --> 00:40:31,371 "Say, son, how'd you like to go fishing this weekend?" 504 00:40:31,835 --> 00:40:36,835 "Great, Dad. But I've got homework to do." 505 00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:41,677 "That's all right, son. You can do it on the boat." 506 00:40:41,678 --> 00:40:44,722 "Gee!" 507 00:40:44,723 --> 00:40:49,268 "Dear, isn't our son swell?" 508 00:40:49,269 --> 00:40:50,520 "Yes, dear." 509 00:40:50,521 --> 00:40:54,023 "Isn't life swell?" 510 00:40:54,024 --> 00:40:59,568 "Oh..." "Oh..." 511 00:41:07,329 --> 00:41:09,572 All right. What about your family? 512 00:41:09,573 --> 00:41:11,507 - Who, mine? - Yeah. 513 00:41:11,508 --> 00:41:13,908 It's real easy. 514 00:41:21,510 --> 00:41:29,308 "Stupid, worthless, no-good, goddamn freeloading son of a bitch. 515 00:41:29,309 --> 00:41:34,309 "Retarded, big mouth, know-it-all, asshole, jerk." 516 00:41:35,566 --> 00:41:39,944 "You forgot ugly, lazy and disrespectful." 517 00:41:39,945 --> 00:41:44,348 "Shut up, bitch! Go fix me a turkey potpie." 518 00:41:44,349 --> 00:41:48,202 "What about you, Dad?" "Fuck you." 519 00:41:48,203 --> 00:41:54,959 "No, Dad. What about you?" "Fuck you!" "No, Dad. What about you?" "Fuck you!" 520 00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:57,760 Barn! 521 00:42:00,257 --> 00:42:03,167 - Is that for real? - You want to come over sometime? 522 00:42:03,168 --> 00:42:05,294 That's bullshit. It's all part of your image. 523 00:42:05,295 --> 00:42:08,222 - I don't believe a word of it. - You don't believe me? 524 00:42:08,223 --> 00:42:09,765 - No. - No? 525 00:42:09,766 --> 00:42:11,766 Did I stutter? 526 00:42:19,276 --> 00:42:23,988 Do you believe this? Huh? 527 00:42:23,989 --> 00:42:28,284 It's about the size of a cigar. Do I stutter? 528 00:42:28,285 --> 00:42:33,285 See, this is what you get in my house when you spill paint in the garage. 529 00:42:35,125 --> 00:42:41,125 See, I don't think that I need to sit with you fucking dildos anymore. 530 00:42:46,178 --> 00:42:49,472 [YELLING] 531 00:42:49,473 --> 00:42:52,973 Fuck! 532 00:43:11,495 --> 00:43:16,040 - You shouldn't have said that. - How did I know? 533 00:43:16,041 --> 00:43:19,541 I mean, he lies about everything anyway. 534 00:43:37,229 --> 00:43:39,513 Oh, shit. 535 00:43:39,514 --> 00:43:44,814 Coffee. Looks like it's been scraped off the bottom of the Mississippi River. 536 00:43:45,821 --> 00:43:47,989 Everything's polluted. Everything's polluted. 537 00:43:47,990 --> 00:43:51,490 The coffee's polluted. The kids are polluted. 538 00:44:03,622 --> 00:44:06,924 - How do you know where Vernon went? - I don't. 539 00:44:06,925 --> 00:44:10,725 - Then how do you know when he'll be back? - I don't. 540 00:44:12,347 --> 00:44:15,847 Being bad feels pretty good. Huh? 541 00:44:17,594 --> 00:44:21,164 - What's the point of going to Bender's locker? - Beats me. 542 00:44:21,765 --> 00:44:26,043 This is so stupid. Why you think... why are we risking getting caught? 543 00:44:26,044 --> 00:44:27,987 I don't know. 544 00:44:27,988 --> 00:44:30,072 So then what are we doing? 545 00:44:30,073 --> 00:44:33,951 You ask me one more question, and I'm beating the shit out of you. 546 00:44:33,952 --> 00:44:35,578 Sorry. 547 00:44:35,579 --> 00:44:39,079 [CLATTERING] 548 00:44:40,709 --> 00:44:44,909 - You're such a slob. - My maid's on vacation. 549 00:44:57,400 --> 00:44:59,852 [SNIFFING] 550 00:44:59,853 --> 00:45:02,304 It's drugs. 551 00:45:02,305 --> 00:45:03,773 Screw that, Bender. Put it back. 552 00:45:03,774 --> 00:45:07,774 Drugs. The boy has marijuana. 553 00:45:08,779 --> 00:45:12,716 - That was marijuana. - Shut up, dick. 554 00:45:13,617 --> 00:45:16,917 Do you approve of this? 555 00:45:27,163 --> 00:45:29,523 556 00:45:29,524 --> 00:45:30,549 ANDREW: You better be right. 557 00:45:30,550 --> 00:45:33,335 If Vernon cuts us off, it's your fault, asshole. 558 00:45:33,336 --> 00:45:36,636 BRIAN: What did he say? Where are we going? 559 00:45:43,271 --> 00:45:46,771 [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING] 560 00:45:56,034 --> 00:46:01,034 561 00:46:02,040 --> 00:46:04,642 562 00:46:05,043 --> 00:46:07,962 563 00:46:07,963 --> 00:46:12,963 home that they'll never tame 564 00:46:13,969 --> 00:46:16,638 565 00:46:17,139 --> 00:46:19,098 566 00:46:19,099 --> 00:46:21,142 Wait. Wait. Hold it. Hold it. 567 00:46:21,143 --> 00:46:23,802 - We have to go through the cafeteria. - No, the activities hall. 568 00:46:23,803 --> 00:46:24,971 Hey man, you don't know what you're talking about. 569 00:46:24,972 --> 00:46:26,355 You don't know what you're talking about. 570 00:46:26,356 --> 00:46:29,691 We're through listening to you. We're going this way. 571 00:46:29,692 --> 00:46:34,092 You go where you want, mother hen. Come on! 572 00:46:36,032 --> 00:46:39,618 573 00:46:39,619 --> 00:46:42,037 574 00:46:42,038 --> 00:46:44,331 575 00:46:44,332 --> 00:46:48,043 576 00:46:48,044 --> 00:46:51,672 577 00:46:51,673 --> 00:46:55,676 578 00:46:55,677 --> 00:46:56,760 Shit! 579 00:46:56,761 --> 00:46:58,054 Great idea, I'm off. 580 00:46:58,055 --> 00:47:00,473 - Fuck you. - Fuck you. Why didn't you listen to John? 581 00:47:00,474 --> 00:47:02,533 We're dead. 582 00:47:02,934 --> 00:47:06,604 No. Just me. 583 00:47:06,605 --> 00:47:07,771 What do you mean? 584 00:47:07,772 --> 00:47:11,734 Get back to the library. Keep your unit out of it. 585 00:47:11,735 --> 00:47:15,863 JOHN: [SINGING] 586 00:47:15,864 --> 00:47:20,409 - - That son of a bitch. 587 00:47:20,410 --> 00:47:23,120 588 00:47:23,121 --> 00:47:25,623 589 00:47:25,624 --> 00:47:28,209 590 00:47:28,210 --> 00:47:32,910 591 00:47:35,342 --> 00:47:40,342 592 00:47:40,722 --> 00:47:42,599 [PANTING] 593 00:47:44,100 --> 00:47:47,600 [BALL BOUNCING] 594 00:47:49,773 --> 00:47:53,901 Three, two, one! 595 00:47:53,902 --> 00:47:56,403 [YELLING] 596 00:47:56,404 --> 00:47:58,864 Bender! Bender! What is this? 597 00:47:58,865 --> 00:48:02,386 - What are you doing here? What is this? - Hi. 598 00:48:03,787 --> 00:48:06,997 Out! That's it, Bender. Out! It's over. 599 00:48:06,998 --> 00:48:10,125 - Don't you want to hear my excuse? - Out. 600 00:48:10,126 --> 00:48:12,628 I'm thinking of trying out for a scholarship. 601 00:48:12,629 --> 00:48:16,529 Give me the ball, Bender. Give me that ball. 602 00:48:34,484 --> 00:48:37,762 Get your stuff. Let's go. 603 00:48:38,363 --> 00:48:41,824 Mr. Wise Guy here's taken upon himself to go to the gymnasium. 604 00:48:41,825 --> 00:48:46,528 I'm sorry to inform you, you're going to be without his services for the rest of the day. 605 00:48:46,529 --> 00:48:49,373 B-O-O-H-O-O. 606 00:48:49,374 --> 00:48:53,035 Everything's a big joke, huh, Bender? The false alarm you pulled Friday... 607 00:48:53,036 --> 00:48:56,005 False alarms are really funny, aren't they? 608 00:48:56,006 --> 00:48:59,883 What if your home... what if your family... 609 00:48:59,884 --> 00:49:01,885 What if your dope was on fire? 610 00:49:01,886 --> 00:49:06,882 Impossible, sir. It's in Johnson's underwear. 611 00:49:06,883 --> 00:49:08,475 You think he's funny? 612 00:49:08,476 --> 00:49:12,354 You think this is cute? You think he's bitching? Is that it? 613 00:49:12,355 --> 00:49:17,109 Let me tell you something. Look at him. 614 00:49:17,110 --> 00:49:19,194 He's a bum. 615 00:49:19,195 --> 00:49:23,115 You want to see something funny? You go visit John Bender in five years. 616 00:49:23,116 --> 00:49:26,616 You'll see how goddamn funny he is. 617 00:49:32,917 --> 00:49:36,417 What's the matter, John? You going to cry? 618 00:49:38,882 --> 00:49:43,177 - Let's go. - Hey, keep your fucking hands off me! 619 00:49:43,178 --> 00:49:46,678 I expect better manners from you, Dick. 620 00:49:48,224 --> 00:49:51,924 For better hallway vision. 621 00:50:02,155 --> 00:50:03,405 That's the last time, Bender. 622 00:50:03,406 --> 00:50:05,908 That's the last time you ever make me look bad in front of those kids. 623 00:50:05,909 --> 00:50:07,076 Do you hear me? 624 00:50:07,077 --> 00:50:09,478 I make $31,000 a year, and I've got a home. 625 00:50:09,479 --> 00:50:12,539 And I'm not about to throw it away on some punk like you. 626 00:50:12,540 --> 00:50:15,509 But someday, someday when you're out of here, 627 00:50:15,510 --> 00:50:18,253 and you've forgotten all about this place, and they've forgotten about you, 628 00:50:18,254 --> 00:50:21,215 and you're wrapped up in your own pathetic life 629 00:50:21,216 --> 00:50:24,468 I'm gonna be there. 630 00:50:24,469 --> 00:50:28,030 That's right. And I'm gonna kick the living shit out of you, man. 631 00:50:28,031 --> 00:50:31,431 I'm gonna knock your dick in the dirt. 632 00:50:33,311 --> 00:50:37,511 - You threatening me? - What are you going to do about it? 633 00:50:39,442 --> 00:50:42,745 You think anybody's gonna believe you? 634 00:50:43,446 --> 00:50:47,908 You think anybody is gonna take your word over mine? 635 00:50:47,909 --> 00:50:50,469 I'm a man of respect around here. They love me around here. 636 00:50:50,470 --> 00:50:55,470 I'm a swell guy. You're a lying sack of shit, and everybody knows it. 637 00:50:57,502 --> 00:51:01,088 You're a real tough guy. Hey, hey. Come on. 638 00:51:01,089 --> 00:51:04,383 Get on your feet, pal! Let's find out how tough you are. 639 00:51:04,384 --> 00:51:07,219 I wanna know, right now, how tough you are. Come on. 640 00:51:07,220 --> 00:51:10,681 I'll give you the first punch. Let's go. Come on. Right here. 641 00:51:10,682 --> 00:51:14,977 Just take the first shot. Please. I'm begging you. Take a shot. Right here. Come on. 642 00:51:14,978 --> 00:51:18,978 Just take one shot. That's all I need. Just one swing. 643 00:51:28,199 --> 00:51:31,110 That's what I thought. 644 00:51:32,111 --> 00:51:35,411 You're a gutless turd. 645 00:51:39,586 --> 00:51:43,086 [DOOR CLOSING] 646 00:52:14,370 --> 00:52:18,782 A naked blond walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm 647 00:52:18,783 --> 00:52:23,003 and a two-foot salami under the other. 648 00:52:23,004 --> 00:52:26,215 She lays the poodle on the table. 649 00:52:26,216 --> 00:52:30,677 Bartender says, "I suppose you won't be needing a drink." 650 00:52:30,678 --> 00:52:34,973 Naked lady says... oh, shit! 651 00:52:34,974 --> 00:52:36,225 [CRASHING] 652 00:52:36,226 --> 00:52:39,726 00:52:47,650 Forgot my pencil. 654 00:52:51,533 --> 00:52:53,686 VERNON: God damn it! 655 00:52:55,787 --> 00:52:59,706 What in God's name is going on in here? 656 00:52:59,707 --> 00:53:02,743 - What was that ruckus? - What ruckus? 657 00:53:02,744 --> 00:53:05,629 I was just in my office, and I heard a ruckus. 658 00:53:05,630 --> 00:53:07,422 Could you describe the ruckus, sir. 659 00:53:07,423 --> 00:53:10,092 Watch your tongue, young man. Watch it. 660 00:53:10,093 --> 00:53:13,262 [GROANS] 661 00:53:13,263 --> 00:53:14,429 VERNON: What is this? 662 00:53:14,430 --> 00:53:15,556 [ZIPPING] 663 00:53:15,557 --> 00:53:18,934 What is that? What... what... what is that noise? 664 00:53:18,935 --> 00:53:23,647 - ANDREW: What noise? - CLAIRE: Really, sir, there wasn't any noise. 665 00:53:23,648 --> 00:53:25,440 [GROANS] 666 00:53:25,441 --> 00:53:28,941 [COUGHING] 667 00:53:32,949 --> 00:53:35,242 That noise? Was that the noise you were talking about? 668 00:53:35,243 --> 00:53:39,079 No, it wasn't. That was not the noise I was talking about. 669 00:53:39,080 --> 00:53:43,959 Now, I may not have caught you in the act this time, but you can bet I will. 670 00:53:43,960 --> 00:53:45,961 [LAUGHS] 671 00:53:45,962 --> 00:53:48,714 You make book on that, missy. 672 00:53:48,715 --> 00:53:53,115 And you! I will not be made a fool of. 673 00:54:09,152 --> 00:54:13,488 - It was an accident. - You're an asshole. 674 00:54:13,489 --> 00:54:16,589 Sue me. 675 00:54:21,706 --> 00:54:25,206 So, Ahab, can I have all my doobage? 676 00:54:33,593 --> 00:54:37,493 Yo, wastoid. You're not gonna blaze up in here. 677 00:55:01,037 --> 00:55:05,332 [CLEARS THROAT] 678 00:55:05,333 --> 00:55:08,833 [INAUDIBLE] 679 00:55:24,978 --> 00:55:27,478 Shit. 680 00:56:22,368 --> 00:56:27,368 Chicks cannot hold their smoke. That's what it is. 681 00:56:31,293 --> 00:56:33,920 Do you know how popular I am? 682 00:56:33,921 --> 00:56:39,000 I am so popular. Everybody loves me so much at this school. 683 00:56:39,001 --> 00:56:41,601 BRIAN: Poor baby. 684 00:56:48,886 --> 00:56:51,008 00:56:57,149 [CLAIRE LAUGHING] 686 00:56:59,822 --> 00:57:03,322 [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING] 687 00:57:12,210 --> 00:57:15,710 [WHOOPS] 688 00:57:54,210 --> 00:57:57,710 [YELLING] 689 00:58:02,885 --> 00:58:07,347 Mr... oh, Mr. Tierney. 690 00:58:07,348 --> 00:58:11,548 A history of slight mental illness. 691 00:58:12,962 --> 00:58:16,409 - No wonder he's so fucked up. - Afternoon, Dick. 692 00:58:16,410 --> 00:58:18,807 - Hey, Carl. How you doing? - Good. 693 00:58:18,808 --> 00:58:21,069 - Good. What's up? - Not much. 694 00:58:21,070 --> 00:58:23,238 What's happening? What are you doing in the basement files? 695 00:58:23,239 --> 00:58:25,757 Oh, nothing. Nothing here. Just doing a little homework here. 696 00:58:25,758 --> 00:58:28,187 - Homework, huh? - Yeah. 697 00:58:30,288 --> 00:58:33,282 Confidential files, huh? 698 00:58:33,783 --> 00:58:37,335 Look, Carl. This is a highly sensitive area, and I... I tell you something. 699 00:58:37,336 --> 00:58:40,088 Certain people would be very, very embarrassed. 700 00:58:40,089 --> 00:58:42,841 I would really appreciate it if... if... if this would be something 701 00:58:42,842 --> 00:58:46,895 that you... you and I could... could keep between us. 702 00:58:47,396 --> 00:58:50,015 - What are you gonna do for me, man? - [STUTTERING] What... what would you like? 703 00:58:50,016 --> 00:58:52,601 - Got 50 bucks? - What? 704 00:58:52,602 --> 00:58:55,279 Fifty bucks. 705 00:58:56,780 --> 00:58:59,983 No, no, no, man. No, you got a middle name? 706 00:58:59,984 --> 00:59:01,693 [CLEARS THROAT] 707 00:59:01,694 --> 00:59:03,320 Yeah, guess. 708 00:59:03,821 --> 00:59:07,821 Your middle name is Ralph, as in puke. 709 00:59:08,618 --> 00:59:14,956 Your birthday, it's March 12. You're 5'9 1/2". You weigh 130 pounds. 710 00:59:14,957 --> 00:59:17,417 And your social security number is 711 00:59:17,418 --> 00:59:23,518 049380913. 712 00:59:24,500 --> 00:59:25,717 Wow. 713 00:59:25,718 --> 00:59:29,005 - Are you a psychic? - No. 714 00:59:30,306 --> 00:59:33,806 Would you mind telling me how you know all this about me? 715 00:59:37,438 --> 00:59:39,689 - I stole your wallet. - BRIAN: Give it to me. 716 00:59:39,690 --> 00:59:41,735 - No. - Give it! 717 00:59:43,236 --> 00:59:45,895 - This is great. You're a thief, too, huh? - I'm not a thief. 718 00:59:45,896 --> 00:59:48,565 - Multi-talented. - What's there to steal? 719 00:59:48,566 --> 00:59:51,326 - Two bucks and a beaver shot. - A what? 720 00:59:51,327 --> 00:59:54,120 He's got a nudie picture in there. I saw it. It's perverted. 721 00:59:54,121 --> 00:59:56,921 All right. Let's see it. 722 01:00:03,714 --> 01:00:07,550 - Are all these your girlfriends? - Some of them. 723 01:00:07,551 --> 01:00:09,094 What about the others? 724 01:00:09,095 --> 01:00:13,882 Well, some I consider my girlfriends, and some I just consider. 725 01:00:13,883 --> 01:00:15,600 Consider what? 726 01:00:15,601 --> 01:00:18,353 Whether or not I wanna hang out with them. 727 01:00:18,354 --> 01:00:22,056 You don't believe in just one guy, one girl? 728 01:00:22,057 --> 01:00:24,526 - Do you? - Yeah. 729 01:00:24,527 --> 01:00:28,338 - It's the way it should be. - Well, not for me. 730 01:00:28,339 --> 01:00:30,198 Why not? 731 01:00:30,199 --> 01:00:32,534 How come you got so much shit in your purse? 732 01:00:32,535 --> 01:00:36,830 - How come you have so many girlfriends? - I asked you first. 733 01:00:36,831 --> 01:00:40,125 I don't know. I guess I never threw anything away. 734 01:00:40,126 --> 01:00:42,460 Neither do I. 735 01:00:42,461 --> 01:00:44,379 Oh. 736 01:00:44,380 --> 01:00:48,800 This is the worst fake I.D. I've ever seen. 737 01:00:48,801 --> 01:00:53,421 - Do you realize you made yourself 68? - BRIAN: I know. I know. I goofed it. 738 01:00:53,422 --> 01:00:57,822 - What do you need a fake I.D. for? - So I can vote. 739 01:00:58,394 --> 01:01:02,494 - You wanna see what's in my bag? 01:01:20,498 Holy shit! 741 01:01:20,899 --> 01:01:21,958 What is all that stuff? 742 01:01:21,959 --> 01:01:25,119 Do you always carry this much shit in your bag? 743 01:01:25,120 --> 01:01:27,088 Yeah. 744 01:01:27,089 --> 01:01:31,801 I always carry this much shit in my bag. 745 01:01:31,802 --> 01:01:35,347 You never know when you may have to jam. 746 01:01:35,348 --> 01:01:38,600 Are you gonna be, like, a shopping bag lady? 747 01:01:39,101 --> 01:01:41,478 You know, like, sit in alleyways 748 01:01:41,479 --> 01:01:45,073 and talk to buildings and wear men's shoes and that kind of thing? 749 01:01:45,074 --> 01:01:47,567 I'll do what I have to do. 750 01:01:47,568 --> 01:01:50,737 Why do you have to do anything? 751 01:01:50,738 --> 01:01:56,238 My home life is unsatisfying. 752 01:01:57,069 --> 01:01:59,704 So you're saying you'd subject yourself to the violent dangers 753 01:01:59,705 --> 01:02:03,458 of these Chicago streets because your home life is unsatisfying? 754 01:02:03,459 --> 01:02:07,970 I don't have to run away and live in the street. I can run away and... I can go to the ocean. 755 01:02:07,971 --> 01:02:09,464 I can go to the country. I can go to the mountains. 756 01:02:09,465 --> 01:02:12,965 I could go to Israel, Africa, Afghanistan. 757 01:02:22,019 --> 01:02:24,062 Andy, wanna get in on this? 758 01:02:24,063 --> 01:02:31,563 Allison here says she wants to run away because her home life is unsatisfying. 759 01:02:33,030 --> 01:02:36,825 Well, everyone's home life is unsatisfying. 760 01:02:36,826 --> 01:02:39,911 And if it wasn't, people would live with their parents forever. 761 01:02:39,912 --> 01:02:43,248 Yeah, yeah, I understand, but I think hers goes beyond 762 01:02:43,249 --> 01:02:48,736 what, you know, guys like you and me consider normal unsatisfying. 763 01:02:48,737 --> 01:02:52,123 Never mind. Forget it. Everything's cool. 764 01:02:52,124 --> 01:02:54,509 - What's the deal? - No. 765 01:02:54,510 --> 01:02:57,053 There's no deal, sporto. 766 01:02:57,054 --> 01:02:59,806 - Forget it. Leave me alone. - Wait a minute. 767 01:02:59,807 --> 01:03:02,851 You're carrying all that crap around in your purse. 768 01:03:02,852 --> 01:03:04,561 Either you really wanna run away, 769 01:03:04,562 --> 01:03:07,188 or you want people to think you wanna run away. 770 01:03:07,189 --> 01:03:10,701 Eat shit. 771 01:03:11,402 --> 01:03:14,902 The girl is an island unto herself, okay? 772 01:03:24,540 --> 01:03:26,900 Hi. 773 01:03:27,501 --> 01:03:29,878 - You wanna talk? - No. 774 01:03:29,879 --> 01:03:34,757 - Why not? - Go away. 775 01:03:34,758 --> 01:03:38,258 - Where do you want me to go? - Go away! 776 01:03:48,189 --> 01:03:51,232 - You have problems. - Oh, I have problems. 777 01:03:51,233 --> 01:03:54,402 You do everything everybody ever tells you to do. That is a problem. 778 01:03:54,403 --> 01:03:57,227 Okay, fine. But I didn't dump my purse out on the couch 779 01:03:57,228 --> 01:04:00,698 and invite people into my problems. 780 01:04:01,153 --> 01:04:02,544 Did I? 781 01:04:07,291 --> 01:04:09,918 So what's wrong? 782 01:04:10,419 --> 01:04:12,963 What is it? 783 01:04:13,964 --> 01:04:16,966 [SIGHS] 784 01:04:16,967 --> 01:04:18,927 Is it bad? 785 01:04:18,928 --> 01:04:21,262 Real bad? 786 01:04:21,263 --> 01:04:24,763 Parents? 787 01:04:38,614 --> 01:04:42,114 Yeah. 788 01:04:50,167 --> 01:04:53,087 What do they do to you? 789 01:04:54,288 --> 01:04:57,608 They ignore me. 790 01:04:58,509 --> 01:05:01,737 Yeah. 791 01:05:03,138 --> 01:05:06,438 Yeah. 792 01:05:08,227 --> 01:05:12,313 What did you wanna be when you were young? 793 01:05:12,314 --> 01:05:16,693 When I was a kid, I wanted to be John Lennon. 794 01:05:16,694 --> 01:05:18,861 Carl, don't be a goof. 795 01:05:18,862 --> 01:05:21,614 I'm trying to make a serious point here. 796 01:05:21,615 --> 01:05:26,327 Carl, I've been teaching for 22 years. 797 01:05:26,328 --> 01:05:30,248 And each year, these kids get more and more arrogant. 798 01:05:30,249 --> 01:05:33,334 Oh, bullshit, man. Come on, Vern. 799 01:05:33,335 --> 01:05:35,295 The kids haven't changed, you have. 800 01:05:35,296 --> 01:05:37,755 [SIGHS] 801 01:05:37,756 --> 01:05:41,509 You took a teaching position 'cause you thought it'd be fun, right? 802 01:05:41,510 --> 01:05:44,345 Thought you could have summer vacations off. 803 01:05:44,346 --> 01:05:46,598 And then you found out it was actually work. 804 01:05:46,599 --> 01:05:49,968 That really bummed you out. 805 01:05:50,769 --> 01:05:53,981 These kids turned on me. 806 01:05:55,482 --> 01:05:59,944 - They think I'm a big fucking joke. - Come on. 807 01:05:59,945 --> 01:06:03,990 Listen, Vern. If you were 16, what would you think of you, huh? 808 01:06:03,991 --> 01:06:08,870 Hey, Carl, you think I give one rat's ass what these kids think of me? 809 01:06:08,871 --> 01:06:11,356 Yes, I do. 810 01:06:11,957 --> 01:06:15,460 You think about this. When you get old, these kids... 811 01:06:15,461 --> 01:06:19,839 When I get old, they're gonna be running the country. 812 01:06:19,840 --> 01:06:21,066 Yeah. 813 01:06:21,467 --> 01:06:25,887 Now this is the thought that wakes me up in the middle of the night. 814 01:06:25,888 --> 01:06:30,475 When I get older, these kids are gonna take care of me. 815 01:06:30,476 --> 01:06:33,576 I wouldn't count on it. 816 01:06:36,273 --> 01:06:39,984 What would I do for a million bucks? 817 01:06:39,985 --> 01:06:42,654 I guess I'd do as little as I had to. 818 01:06:42,655 --> 01:06:45,948 - That's boring. - Well, how am I supposed to answer? 819 01:06:45,949 --> 01:06:49,410 The idea is to, like, search your mind for the absolute limit. 820 01:06:49,411 --> 01:06:54,911 Like, would you drive to school naked? 821 01:06:58,962 --> 01:07:02,006 - Would I have to get out of the car? - Of course. 822 01:07:02,007 --> 01:07:06,219 - ANDREW: In the spring or winter? - CLAIRE: Doesn't matter. Spring. 823 01:07:06,220 --> 01:07:08,721 ANDREW: In front of the school or in back of the school? 824 01:07:08,722 --> 01:07:11,849 - CLAIRE: Either one. - ANDREW: Yes. 825 01:07:11,850 --> 01:07:14,602 I'd do that. 826 01:07:14,603 --> 01:07:18,940 I'll do anything sexual. I don't need a million dollars to do it, either. 827 01:07:18,941 --> 01:07:22,151 - You're lying. - ALLISON: I already have. 828 01:07:22,152 --> 01:07:26,952 I've clone just about everything there is, except a few things that are illegal. 829 01:07:26,957 --> 01:07:32,078 - I'm a nymphomaniac. - Lie. 830 01:07:32,079 --> 01:07:36,999 - Are your parents aware of this? - The only person I told was my shrink. 831 01:07:37,000 --> 01:07:41,100 - What did he do when you told him? - He nailed me. 832 01:07:44,717 --> 01:07:46,384 Very nice. 833 01:07:46,385 --> 01:07:48,845 I don't think that from a legal standpoint 834 01:07:48,846 --> 01:07:52,348 what he did can be construed as rape since I paid him. 835 01:07:52,349 --> 01:07:56,218 - He's an adult. - Yeah. He's married, too. 836 01:07:56,219 --> 01:07:57,770 [GROANS IN DISGUST] 837 01:07:57,771 --> 01:08:00,481 Do you have any idea how completely gross that is? 838 01:08:00,482 --> 01:08:03,651 - Well, the first few times... - The first few times? 839 01:08:03,652 --> 01:08:06,070 - You mean, he did it more than once? - Sure. 840 01:08:06,071 --> 01:08:07,488 Are you crazy? 841 01:08:07,489 --> 01:08:11,076 Obviously she's crazy if she's screwing her shrink. 842 01:08:12,077 --> 01:08:15,147 Have you ever done it? 843 01:08:16,248 --> 01:08:18,499 I don't even have a psychiatrist. 844 01:08:18,500 --> 01:08:21,169 Have you ever done it with a normal person? 845 01:08:21,170 --> 01:08:26,070 - Oh, didn't we already cover this? - You never answered the question. 846 01:08:26,541 --> 01:08:29,677 Look. I'm not going to discuss my private life with total strangers. 847 01:08:29,678 --> 01:08:32,680 - It's kind of a double-edged sword, isn't it? - A what? 848 01:08:32,681 --> 01:08:36,350 Well, if you say you haven't, you're a prude. 849 01:08:36,351 --> 01:08:40,721 If you say you have, you're a slut. It's a trap. 850 01:08:40,722 --> 01:08:42,440 You want to, but you can't. 851 01:08:42,441 --> 01:08:45,026 And when you do, you wish you didn't, right? 852 01:08:45,027 --> 01:08:50,027 - Wrong. - Or are you a tease? 853 01:08:50,199 --> 01:08:53,034 - She's a tease. - I'm sure. Why don't you forget it? 854 01:08:53,035 --> 01:08:55,661 You're a tease and you know it. All girls are teases. 855 01:08:55,662 --> 01:08:57,955 She's only a tease if what she does gets you hot. 856 01:08:57,956 --> 01:08:59,457 I don't do anything! 857 01:08:59,458 --> 01:09:04,378 - That's why you're a tease. - Okay, let me ask you a few questions. 858 01:09:04,379 --> 01:09:06,214 - I... I already told you everything. - No. 859 01:09:06,215 --> 01:09:08,661 Doesn't it bother you to sleep around without being in love? 860 01:09:08,662 --> 01:09:12,386 - And don't you want respect? - I don't screw to get respect. 861 01:09:12,387 --> 01:09:14,889 That's the difference between you and me. 862 01:09:14,890 --> 01:09:16,616 It's not the only difference I hope. 863 01:09:16,617 --> 01:09:19,185 864 01:09:19,186 --> 01:09:21,437 Sure you are. Sex is your weapon. 865 01:09:21,438 --> 01:09:25,399 You said it yourself. You use it to get respect. 866 01:09:25,400 --> 01:09:28,402 No, I never said that. She twisted my words around. 867 01:09:28,403 --> 01:09:31,823 - What do you use it for, then? - I don't use it, period! 868 01:09:31,824 --> 01:09:35,034 Are you medically frigid or is it psychological? 869 01:09:35,035 --> 01:09:38,162 I didn't mean it that way. You guys are putting words into my mouth. 870 01:09:38,163 --> 01:09:40,056 Well, if you'd just answer the question. 871 01:09:40,057 --> 01:09:41,332 01:09:43,251 - Be honest. No big deal. - Yeah, answer it. 873 01:09:43,252 --> 01:09:45,503 - Just answer the question, Claire. - Talk to us. 874 01:09:45,504 --> 01:09:47,713 - Come on, answer the question! - Answer the question! 875 01:09:47,714 --> 01:09:49,924 - Don't be a jerk! - It's easy. It's only one question. 876 01:09:49,925 --> 01:09:53,425 No, I never did it! 877 01:09:57,307 --> 01:10:00,902 I never did it, either. 878 01:10:01,603 --> 01:10:05,903 I'm not a nymphomaniac. I'm a compulsive liar. 879 01:10:07,067 --> 01:10:09,902 You are such a bitch! 880 01:10:09,903 --> 01:10:12,655 You did that on purpose just to fuck me over! 881 01:10:12,656 --> 01:10:17,410 I would do it, though. If you love someone, it's okay. 882 01:10:17,411 --> 01:10:19,370 I can't believe you. You're so weird. 883 01:10:19,371 --> 01:10:22,748 You don't say anything all day, and then when you open your mouth 884 01:10:22,749 --> 01:10:25,267 you unload all these tremendous lies all over me. 885 01:10:25,268 --> 01:10:29,255 You're just pissed off because she got you to admit something you didn't want to admit to. 886 01:10:29,256 --> 01:10:31,491 Okay, fine. But that doesn't make it any less bizarre. 887 01:10:31,492 --> 01:10:36,220 What's bizarre? I mean, we're all pretty bizarre. 888 01:10:36,221 --> 01:10:39,181 Some of us are just better at hiding it, that's all. 889 01:10:39,182 --> 01:10:41,944 How are you bizarre? 890 01:10:43,145 --> 01:10:46,522 He can't think for himself. 891 01:10:46,523 --> 01:10:49,150 She's right. 892 01:10:49,151 --> 01:10:52,951 Do you guys know what... I did to get in here? 893 01:10:54,656 --> 01:10:58,200 I taped Larry Lester's buns together. 894 01:10:58,201 --> 01:11:00,128 That was you? 895 01:11:00,329 --> 01:11:04,332 - Yeah. You know him? - Yeah, I know him. 896 01:11:04,333 --> 01:11:07,251 Then you know how hairy he is, right? 897 01:11:07,252 --> 01:11:14,052 When they pulled the tape off, most of his hair came off and some skin, too. 898 01:11:14,051 --> 01:11:15,843 Oh, my God. 899 01:11:15,844 --> 01:11:21,344 The bizarre thing is, is that I did it for my old man. 900 01:11:23,152 --> 01:11:25,895 I tortured this poor kid 901 01:11:25,896 --> 01:11:29,396 because I wanted him to think that I was cool. 902 01:11:31,109 --> 01:11:35,821 He's always going off about, you know, when he was in school. 903 01:11:35,822 --> 01:11:39,408 All the wild things he used to do. 904 01:11:39,409 --> 01:11:45,996 And I got the feeling that he was disappointed that I never cut loose on anyone, right. 905 01:11:47,709 --> 01:11:54,489 So, I'm sitting in the locker room and I'm taping up my knee. 906 01:11:55,926 --> 01:12:00,626 And Larry's undressing a couple lockers down from me. 907 01:12:02,426 --> 01:12:09,126 And... he's kind of... he's kind of skinny. He's weak. 908 01:12:10,232 --> 01:12:17,532 And I started thinking about my father and his attitude about my... my weakness. 909 01:12:18,740 --> 01:12:20,993 And the next thing I knew 910 01:12:22,494 --> 01:12:26,694 I... I jumped on top of him and... and started wailing on him. 911 01:12:28,667 --> 01:12:32,167 And my friends, they just laughed and cheered me on. 912 01:12:35,173 --> 01:12:38,068 And afterwards, 913 01:12:38,969 --> 01:12:42,469 when I was sitting in Vernon's office, 914 01:12:44,474 --> 01:12:47,768 all I could think about 915 01:12:47,769 --> 01:12:50,513 was Larry's father 916 01:12:51,314 --> 01:12:54,684 and Larry having to go home 917 01:12:55,485 --> 01:12:59,785 and... and explain what happened to him. 918 01:13:03,035 --> 01:13:07,496 And the humiliation. 919 01:13:07,497 --> 01:13:11,497 Fucking humiliation he must have felt. 920 01:13:13,962 --> 01:13:17,716 It must have been unreal. 921 01:13:18,717 --> 01:13:22,717 I mean, how... how do you apologize for something like that? 922 01:13:26,433 --> 01:13:29,533 There's no way. 923 01:13:32,689 --> 01:13:36,189 It's all because of me and my old man. 924 01:13:39,529 --> 01:13:43,391 God, I fucking hate him. 925 01:13:44,092 --> 01:13:45,493 He's like this... 926 01:13:45,494 --> 01:13:50,494 He's... he's like this mindless machine that I can't even relate to anymore. 927 01:13:50,495 --> 01:13:55,240 "Andrew! You've got to be number one! 928 01:13:55,796 --> 01:13:58,589 "I won't tolerate any losers in this family. 929 01:13:58,590 --> 01:14:04,090 "Your intensity is for shit! Win! Win! Win!" 930 01:14:04,805 --> 01:14:08,305 You son of a bitch. 931 01:14:10,185 --> 01:14:14,772 You know, sometimes I wish my knee would give, 932 01:14:14,773 --> 01:14:18,126 then I wouldn't be able to wrestle anymore. 933 01:14:18,527 --> 01:14:22,296 Then he could forget all about me. 934 01:14:22,297 --> 01:14:26,497 I think your old man and my old man should get together and go bowling. 935 01:14:31,790 --> 01:14:34,667 It's like me, you know, with my grades. 936 01:14:34,668 --> 01:14:41,087 Like when I... when I step outside myself and like when I look in at myself, you know. 937 01:14:44,094 --> 01:14:47,094 And I... and I see me. 938 01:14:49,683 --> 01:14:52,402 I don't like what I see. 939 01:14:53,003 --> 01:14:55,229 I really don't. 940 01:14:55,230 --> 01:15:00,109 What's wrong with you? Why don't you like yourself? 941 01:15:00,110 --> 01:15:03,610 Sounds stupid, but, 942 01:15:06,408 --> 01:15:09,535 because I'm failing shop. 943 01:15:09,536 --> 01:15:14,536 We had this assignment, you know, to make this, like, ceramic elephant 944 01:15:14,666 --> 01:15:17,242 and... we had eight weeks to do it. 945 01:15:17,243 --> 01:15:20,629 And then, you know, we're supposed to... it was, like, a lamp. 946 01:15:20,630 --> 01:15:26,427 And when, you know, when you pull it, the trunk, the light was supposed to go on. 947 01:15:26,428 --> 01:15:30,181 But, you know, my light didn't go on. 948 01:15:30,182 --> 01:15:32,975 I got an F on it. 949 01:15:33,476 --> 01:15:36,437 I've never got an F in my life. 950 01:15:36,438 --> 01:15:39,690 When I signed up, you know, for the course, I mean, 951 01:15:39,691 --> 01:15:43,477 I thought I was playing it real smart, you know, 'cause I thought, you know, I'll take shop. 952 01:15:43,478 --> 01:15:46,197 It'll be such an easy way to maintain my grade point average. 953 01:15:46,198 --> 01:15:49,576 Why'd you think it'd be easy? 954 01:15:50,477 --> 01:15:52,569 Have you seen some of the dopes that take shop? 955 01:15:52,570 --> 01:15:56,700 I take shop. You must be a fucking idiot. 956 01:15:56,701 --> 01:15:58,459 I'm a fucking idiot because I can't make a lamp? 957 01:15:58,460 --> 01:16:02,146 No, you're a genius because you can't make a lamp. 958 01:16:02,547 --> 01:16:06,033 - What do you know about trigonometry? - I could care less about trigonometry. 959 01:16:06,034 --> 01:16:08,636 Bender, did you know without trigonometry, there'd be no engineering? 960 01:16:08,637 --> 01:16:10,512 Without lamps, there'd be no light. 961 01:16:10,513 --> 01:16:14,350 Okay, so neither one of you is any better than the other one. 962 01:16:14,351 --> 01:16:16,853 I can write with my toes. 963 01:16:17,354 --> 01:16:21,854 - I can also eat, brush my teeth. - With your feet? 964 01:16:22,943 --> 01:16:26,963 - Play "Heart And Soul" on the piano. - I can make spaghetti. 965 01:16:27,364 --> 01:16:29,623 What can you do? 966 01:16:29,624 --> 01:16:33,202 I can... uh... tape all of your buns together. 967 01:16:33,203 --> 01:16:35,871 I wanna see what Claire can do. 968 01:16:35,872 --> 01:16:40,542 - I can't do anything. - No, everybody can do something. 969 01:16:40,543 --> 01:16:43,704 There's one thing I can do. 970 01:16:43,705 --> 01:16:46,799 - No, forget it. It's way too embarrassing. - You ever seen Wild Kingdom? 971 01:16:46,800 --> 01:16:49,885 I mean, that guy's been doing that show for 30 years. 972 01:16:49,886 --> 01:16:52,029 Okay. 973 01:16:52,030 --> 01:16:55,430 You have to swear to God you won't laugh. 974 01:16:58,019 --> 01:17:00,189 Okay. 975 01:17:01,690 --> 01:17:05,490 I can't believe I'm actually doing this. 976 01:17:17,622 --> 01:17:19,331 [ALL APPLAUDING] 977 01:17:19,332 --> 01:17:22,858 All right. That's great! 978 01:17:23,359 --> 01:17:24,545 Where'd you learn to do that? 979 01:17:24,546 --> 01:17:27,146 Camp. Seventh grade. 980 01:17:31,886 --> 01:17:35,014 That was great, Claire. 981 01:17:35,015 --> 01:17:37,891 My image of you is totally blown. 982 01:17:37,892 --> 01:17:41,770 You're a shit. Don't do that to her. You swore to God you wouldn't laugh. 983 01:17:41,771 --> 01:17:45,671 - JOHN: Am I laughing? - You fucking prick! 984 01:17:47,569 --> 01:17:50,830 What do you care what I think anyway? 985 01:17:51,531 --> 01:17:54,241 I don't even count, right? 986 01:17:54,242 --> 01:17:58,542 I could disappear forever and it wouldn't make any difference. 987 01:17:59,706 --> 01:18:04,206 I may as well not even exist at this school, remember? 988 01:18:07,505 --> 01:18:11,342 And you... don't like me anyway. 989 01:18:11,343 --> 01:18:13,719 You know, I have just as many feelings as you do 990 01:18:13,720 --> 01:18:16,196 and it hurts just as much when somebody steps all over them. 991 01:18:16,197 --> 01:18:18,390 01:18:23,354 Don't you ever, ever compare yourself to me, okay? 993 01:18:23,355 --> 01:18:26,398 You got everything, and I got shit. 994 01:18:26,399 --> 01:18:28,484 Fucking Rapunzel, right? 995 01:18:28,485 --> 01:18:32,012 School would probably shut down if you didn't show up. 996 01:18:32,013 --> 01:18:34,448 Queenie isn't here. 997 01:18:34,449 --> 01:18:38,035 - I like those earrings, Claire. - Shut up. 998 01:18:38,036 --> 01:18:40,746 - Are those real diamonds, Claire? - Shut up! 999 01:18:40,747 --> 01:18:44,792 I bet they are. Did you work for the money... 1000 01:18:44,793 --> 01:18:47,378 - Shut your mouth! - ...for those earrings? 1001 01:18:47,379 --> 01:18:50,130 - Or did your daddy buy those for you? - Shut up! 1002 01:18:50,131 --> 01:18:52,466 I bet he bought those for you. 1003 01:18:52,467 --> 01:18:56,637 I bet those were a Christmas gift, right? 1004 01:18:56,638 --> 01:18:58,430 You know what I got for Christmas this year? 1005 01:18:58,431 --> 01:19:01,392 It was a banner fucking year at the old Bender family. 1006 01:19:01,393 --> 01:19:03,352 I got a carton of cigarettes. 1007 01:19:03,353 --> 01:19:07,064 The old man grabbed me and said, "Hey, smoke up, Johnny." 1008 01:19:07,065 --> 01:19:10,665 Okay, so go home and cry to your daddy. Don't cry here, okay? 1009 01:19:16,074 --> 01:19:19,574 [CLAIRE SNIFFLING] 1010 01:19:23,206 --> 01:19:27,996 - My God, are we gonna be like our parents? - Not me. 1011 01:19:30,922 --> 01:19:32,716 Ever. 1012 01:19:34,717 --> 01:19:37,636 It's unavoidable. 1013 01:19:37,637 --> 01:19:40,472 It just happens. 1014 01:19:40,473 --> 01:19:42,959 CLAIRE: What happens? 1015 01:19:44,060 --> 01:19:48,355 When you grow up, your heart dies. 1016 01:19:48,356 --> 01:19:52,856 - Who cares? - I care. 1017 01:19:54,221 --> 01:19:57,431 BRIAN: Um... I was just thinking, I mean, 1018 01:19:58,232 --> 01:20:02,032 I know it's kind of a weird time, but I was just wondering, um... 1019 01:20:04,747 --> 01:20:10,047 what is going to happen to us on Monday, when we're all together again? 1020 01:20:10,545 --> 01:20:13,748 I mean, I consider you guys my friends. 1021 01:20:14,549 --> 01:20:16,791 I'm not wrong, am I? 1022 01:20:17,812 --> 01:20:19,386 No. 1023 01:20:19,387 --> 01:20:22,389 So... so on Monday, what happens? 1024 01:20:22,390 --> 01:20:25,592 Are we still friends, you mean? 1025 01:20:25,593 --> 01:20:29,354 - If we're friends now, that is. - Yeah. 1026 01:20:29,355 --> 01:20:34,355 - Do you want the truth? - Yeah, I want the truth. 1027 01:20:34,360 --> 01:20:37,446 I don't think so. 1028 01:20:37,447 --> 01:20:42,547 - With all of us or just John? - With all of you. 1029 01:20:42,548 --> 01:20:46,246 - That's a real nice attitude, Claire. - CLAIRE: Oh, be honest, Andy. 1030 01:20:46,247 --> 01:20:50,918 If Brian came walking up to you in the hall on Monday, what would you do? 1031 01:20:50,919 --> 01:20:54,129 I mean, picture this. You're there with all the sports. 1032 01:20:54,130 --> 01:20:57,382 I know exactly what you'd do. You'd say hi to him, and when he left 1033 01:20:57,383 --> 01:21:01,220 you'd out him all up so your friends wouldn't think you really liked him. 1034 01:21:01,221 --> 01:21:04,473 - No way. - Okay. 1035 01:21:04,474 --> 01:21:08,185 - What if I came up to you? - Same exact thing. 1036 01:21:08,186 --> 01:21:10,938 You are a bitch! 1037 01:21:10,939 --> 01:21:13,565 Why, 'cause I'm telling the truth? That makes me a bitch? 1038 01:21:13,566 --> 01:21:16,485 No, 'cause you know how shitty that is to do to someone. 1039 01:21:16,486 --> 01:21:18,779 And you don't got the balls to stand up to your friends 1040 01:21:18,780 --> 01:21:20,781 and tell them you're gonna like who you wanna like. 1041 01:21:20,782 --> 01:21:23,300 Okay, what about you, you hypocrite? 1042 01:21:23,301 --> 01:21:26,562 Why don't you take Allison to one of your heavy metal vomit parties? 1043 01:21:26,563 --> 01:21:29,164 Or take Brian out to the parking lot at lunch to get high? 1044 01:21:29,165 --> 01:21:31,625 What about Andy, for that matter? What about me? 1045 01:21:31,626 --> 01:21:34,878 What would your friends say if we were walking down the hall together? 1046 01:21:34,879 --> 01:21:38,131 They'd laugh their asses off, and you'd probably tell them you were doing it with me 1047 01:21:38,132 --> 01:21:41,677 - so they'd forgive you for being seen with me. - Don't you ever talk about my friends! 1048 01:21:41,678 --> 01:21:44,680 You don't know any of my friends, you don't look at any of my friends, 1049 01:21:44,681 --> 01:21:47,975 and you certainly wouldn't condescend to speak to any of my friends! 1050 01:21:47,976 --> 01:21:49,601 So you just stick to the things you know, 1051 01:21:49,602 --> 01:21:53,664 shopping, nail polish, your father's BMW, and your poor, rich, 1052 01:21:53,665 --> 01:21:55,349 - drunk mother in the Caribbean. - Shut up! 1053 01:21:55,350 --> 01:21:57,442 As far as being concerned about what's gonna happen 1054 01:21:57,443 --> 01:21:59,152 when you and I walk down the hallways of school, 1055 01:21:59,153 --> 01:22:01,655 you can forget it, 'cause it's never gonna happen. 1056 01:22:01,656 --> 01:22:05,225 Just bury your head in the sand and wait for your fucking prom! 1057 01:22:05,226 --> 01:22:08,826 - I hate you! - Yeah? Good! 1058 01:22:14,368 --> 01:22:18,739 Okay, then I assume Allison and I are better people than you guys, huh? 1059 01:22:18,740 --> 01:22:21,693 Us weirdoes. 1060 01:22:22,594 --> 01:22:28,294 - Would you... would you do that to me? - I don't have any friend. 1061 01:22:30,018 --> 01:22:33,518 - Well, if you did. - No. 1062 01:22:35,565 --> 01:22:39,226 I don't think the kind of friends I'd have would mind. 1063 01:22:39,227 --> 01:22:44,865 Well, I just wanna tell... each of you... that I wouldn't do that. 1064 01:22:44,866 --> 01:22:48,686 I wouldn't and I will not. 1065 01:22:49,787 --> 01:22:53,099 'Cause I think that's real shitty. 1066 01:22:54,500 --> 01:22:58,400 Your friends wouldn't mind because they look up to us. 1067 01:23:00,548 --> 01:23:03,675 You're so conceited, Claire. 1068 01:23:03,676 --> 01:23:05,969 You're so conceited. 1069 01:23:05,970 --> 01:23:08,455 You're so, like, full of yourself. Why are you like that? 1070 01:23:08,456 --> 01:23:11,892 I'm not saying that to be conceited. 1071 01:23:11,893 --> 01:23:15,979 I hate it. I hate having to go along with everything my friends say. 1072 01:23:15,980 --> 01:23:19,024 BRIAN: Well, then why do you do it? 1073 01:23:19,025 --> 01:23:22,069 I don't know. I don't... 1074 01:23:22,070 --> 01:23:25,364 [SIGHS] You don't understand. You don't... 1075 01:23:25,365 --> 01:23:29,326 You're not friends with the same kind of people that Andy and I are friends with. 1076 01:23:29,327 --> 01:23:34,081 You know, you just don't understand the pressure that they can put on you. 1077 01:23:34,082 --> 01:23:36,166 I don't understand what? 1078 01:23:36,167 --> 01:23:39,670 You think I don't understand pressure, Claire? 1079 01:23:39,671 --> 01:23:43,471 Well, fuck you! Fuck you! 1080 01:23:50,556 --> 01:23:53,535 BRIAN: You know why I'm here today? 1081 01:23:54,936 --> 01:23:57,271 Do you? 1082 01:23:58,272 --> 01:23:59,773 [SNIFFLING] 1083 01:23:59,774 --> 01:24:02,192 I'm here 1084 01:24:02,193 --> 01:24:07,993 because Mr. Ryan found a gun in my locker. 1085 01:24:10,284 --> 01:24:14,984 - Why'd you have a gun in your locker? - I tried. 1086 01:24:16,958 --> 01:24:22,858 When you pull the fucking trunk on it, the light's supposed to go on. 1087 01:24:23,423 --> 01:24:26,851 It didn't go on. You know? 1088 01:24:28,052 --> 01:24:30,804 1089 01:24:30,805 --> 01:24:33,516 You brought it up, man. 1090 01:24:35,017 --> 01:24:38,517 I can't have an F. 1091 01:24:40,523 --> 01:24:46,023 I can't have it, and I know my parents can't have it. 1092 01:24:48,489 --> 01:24:52,868 Even if I ace the rest of the semester, I'm still only a B. 1093 01:24:52,869 --> 01:24:56,788 - Everything's ruined for me. - Oh, Brian. 1094 01:24:57,189 --> 01:24:58,871 What? 1095 01:25:03,504 --> 01:25:06,173 Considering my options, you know. 1096 01:25:06,174 --> 01:25:08,258 No, killing yourself is not an option. 1097 01:25:08,259 --> 01:25:12,345 Well, I didn't do it, did I? No, I don't think so. 1098 01:25:12,346 --> 01:25:15,374 It was a handgun? 1099 01:25:15,975 --> 01:25:21,373 - No, it was a flare gun. It went off in my locker. - Really? 1100 01:25:23,274 --> 01:25:25,609 It's not funny. 1101 01:25:25,610 --> 01:25:29,110 [CLEARS THROAT] 1102 01:25:39,707 --> 01:25:42,135 Yes, it is. 1103 01:25:43,836 --> 01:25:47,464 Fucking elephant was destroyed. 1104 01:25:47,465 --> 01:25:50,965 You wanna know what I did to get in here? 1105 01:25:53,221 --> 01:25:55,931 Nothing. 1106 01:25:55,932 --> 01:25:59,432 I didn't have anything better to do. 1107 01:26:04,148 --> 01:26:06,399 You're laughing at me. 1108 01:26:06,400 --> 01:26:09,900 - No! - Yeah, you are. 1109 01:26:15,368 --> 01:26:18,868 [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING] 1110 01:26:33,594 --> 01:26:36,012 1111 01:26:36,013 --> 01:26:40,016 1112 01:26:40,017 --> 01:26:43,436 1113 01:26:43,437 --> 01:26:48,433 when I looked into your eyes 1114 01:26:48,434 --> 01:26:53,234 1115 01:26:53,406 --> 01:26:58,406 just reveal the purest thoughts 1116 01:26:58,452 --> 01:27:02,622 1117 01:27:02,623 --> 01:27:05,959 1118 01:27:05,960 --> 01:27:08,211 1119 01:27:08,212 --> 01:27:13,212 1120 01:27:13,384 --> 01:27:15,927 1121 01:27:15,928 --> 01:27:18,346 1122 01:27:18,347 --> 01:27:21,847 1123 01:27:54,926 --> 01:27:56,468 Brian? 1124 01:27:56,469 --> 01:27:58,011 Mmm? 1125 01:27:58,012 --> 01:28:01,912 - Are you gonna write your paper? - Yeah. Why? 1126 01:28:03,601 --> 01:28:07,687 Well, it's kind of a waste for all of us to write our paper, don't you think? 1127 01:28:07,688 --> 01:28:09,856 Well, that's what Vernon wants us to do. 1128 01:28:09,857 --> 01:28:14,357 True. But I think we'd all kind of say the same thing. 1129 01:28:15,237 --> 01:28:18,531 You just don't wanna write your paper, right? 1130 01:28:18,532 --> 01:28:22,994 True, but you're the smartest, right? 1131 01:28:22,995 --> 01:28:26,995 - Well... - We trust you. 1132 01:28:29,877 --> 01:28:32,872 Yeah. 1133 01:28:33,673 --> 01:28:38,635 All right. I'll do it. 1134 01:28:38,636 --> 01:28:41,136 Great. 1135 01:28:53,150 --> 01:28:55,068 Come on. 1136 01:28:55,069 --> 01:28:59,390 - Where we going? - Come on. 1137 01:28:59,991 --> 01:29:02,576 CLAIRE: Don't be afraid. 1138 01:29:03,577 --> 01:29:06,246 - Don't stick that in my eye. - I'm not sticking... 1139 01:29:06,247 --> 01:29:10,500 Just close it. No, wait, wait. Just go like... go like that. 1140 01:29:11,001 --> 01:29:11,960 Good. 1141 01:29:11,961 --> 01:29:15,630 [WHIMPERING] 1142 01:29:15,631 --> 01:29:18,758 You know, you really do look better without all that black shit on your eyes. 1143 01:29:18,759 --> 01:29:22,595 Hey, I like that black shit. 1144 01:29:22,596 --> 01:29:25,056 CLAIRE: This looks a lot better. 1145 01:29:25,057 --> 01:29:27,457 Look up. 1146 01:29:32,940 --> 01:29:35,275 [SNORTING] 1147 01:29:35,276 --> 01:29:38,776 Please. Why are you being so nice to me? 1148 01:29:40,281 --> 01:29:42,881 'Cause you're letting me. 1149 01:29:59,008 --> 01:30:00,908 You lost? 1150 01:30:52,520 --> 01:30:55,620 Thank you. 1151 01:31:02,363 --> 01:31:06,863 - Why'd you do that? - 'Cause I knew you wouldn't. 1152 01:31:08,077 --> 01:31:12,163 You know how you said before how your parents use you to get back at each other? 1153 01:31:12,164 --> 01:31:16,164 Wouldn't I be outstanding in that capacity? 1154 01:31:17,920 --> 01:31:21,464 Were you really disgusted about what I did with my lipstick? 1155 01:31:21,465 --> 01:31:25,677 - Truth? - Truth. 1156 01:31:25,678 --> 01:31:28,178 No. 1157 01:31:37,189 --> 01:31:39,093 What happened to you? 1158 01:31:40,214 --> 01:31:42,989 Why? Claire did it. 1159 01:31:47,491 --> 01:31:49,410 What's wrong? 1160 01:31:49,411 --> 01:31:55,211 Nothing's wrong. It's just... you're just so different... you know. 1161 01:31:56,584 --> 01:31:58,752 I can see your face. 1162 01:31:59,253 --> 01:32:03,953 - Is that good or bad? - That's good. 1163 01:32:19,356 --> 01:32:22,342 - See you, Brian. - Hey, Carl. 1164 01:32:22,943 --> 01:32:26,538 - See you next Saturday. - You bet. 1165 01:32:27,239 --> 01:32:30,739 01:32:38,666 1167 01:32:38,667 --> 01:32:43,588 1168 01:32:43,589 --> 01:32:47,508 1169 01:32:47,509 --> 01:32:52,305 1170 01:32:52,306 --> 01:32:56,309 1171 01:32:56,310 --> 01:33:01,147 that we were working on 1172 01:33:01,148 --> 01:33:05,235 1173 01:33:05,236 --> 01:33:10,156 1174 01:33:10,157 --> 01:33:15,157 1175 01:33:16,247 --> 01:33:18,998 1176 01:33:18,999 --> 01:33:23,999 1177 01:33:27,216 --> 01:33:31,594 1178 01:33:31,595 --> 01:33:36,140 1179 01:33:36,141 --> 01:33:40,853 1180 01:33:40,854 --> 01:33:44,983 1181 01:33:44,984 --> 01:33:49,279 1182 01:33:49,280 --> 01:33:53,257 1183 01:33:53,258 --> 01:33:58,246 1184 01:33:58,247 --> 01:34:02,747 1185 01:34:04,753 --> 01:34:08,253 1186 01:34:10,843 --> 01:34:13,486 BRIAN: Dear Mr. Vernon. 1187 01:34:13,787 --> 01:34:17,031 We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention 1188 01:34:17,032 --> 01:34:19,225 for whatever it was we did wrong 1189 01:34:19,226 --> 01:34:21,427 but we think you're crazy to make us write an essay 1190 01:34:21,428 --> 01:34:23,313 telling you who we think we are. 1191 01:34:23,314 --> 01:34:25,590 You see us as you want to see us, 1192 01:34:25,591 --> 01:34:29,694 in the simplest terms, with the most convenient definitions. 1193 01:34:29,695 --> 01:34:34,073 But what we found out, is that each one of us is a brain. 1194 01:34:34,074 --> 01:34:35,742 ANDREW: And an athlete. 1195 01:34:35,743 --> 01:34:37,910 01:34:39,203 CLAIRE: A princess. 1197 01:34:39,204 --> 01:34:41,039 JOHN: And a criminal. 1198 01:34:41,040 --> 01:34:43,783 BRIAN: Does that answer your question? 1199 01:34:44,184 --> 01:34:49,047 Sincerely yours, The Breakfast Club. 1200 01:34:49,048 --> 01:34:51,758 1201 01:34:51,759 --> 01:34:56,304 1202 01:34:56,305 --> 01:34:58,473 1203 01:34:58,474 --> 01:35:02,727 1204 01:35:02,728 --> 01:35:07,106 1205 01:35:07,107 --> 01:35:11,402 1206 01:35:11,403 --> 01:35:15,782 1207 01:35:15,783 --> 01:35:19,702 1208 01:35:19,703 --> 01:35:23,203 [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING] 1209 01:35:39,973 --> 01:35:43,518 1210 01:35:43,519 --> 01:35:46,979 1211 01:35:46,980 --> 01:35:51,317 1212 01:35:51,318 --> 01:35:54,818 1213 01:36:01,328 --> 01:36:04,664 1214 01:36:04,665 --> 01:36:08,459 1215 01:36:08,460 --> 01:36:12,672 1216 01:36:12,673 --> 01:36:16,173 1217 01:36:23,133 --> 01:36:26,602 1218 01:36:26,603 --> 01:36:30,606 1219 01:36:30,607 --> 01:36:33,092 1220 01:36:33,093 --> 01:36:37,780 1221 01:36:37,781 --> 01:36:40,867 1222 01:36:40,868 --> 01:36:44,729 1223 01:36:44,730 --> 01:36:47,123 1224 01:36:47,124 --> 01:36:52,624